[a little after the locations are revealed, shadowheart can be found in the church. she's changed into a change of clothes, and she clearly thinks she's alone. she's got a glass with her that seems like it came from the bar, and she's standing on one of the pews, inspecting one of the axolotl windows up close carefully, running a finger along the glass.
and then she appears to be startled when someone comes in after her.]
Ah, hello! I was just looking for someplace to be alone with my thoughts for a moment.
[HER FIT CHECK. She is so aerodynamic... Very unlike Lucas who now has so many layers that are so flowy.
This is very funny since he also has a glass in his hand that definitely came from the bar, though he moves to place it on another pew before making his way over.]
The church is certainly a good place for that. I do hope that I'm not interrupting you, then...?
Maybe it's a bit cute. In an unsettling sort of way.
[she shrugs at that.]
Truth be told, this sort of church is not where I would be inclined to pray either way. I was merely curious about it; I want to learn more about the gods of this place.
[IN THE DARK. Wild... His Catholicism brand is still very classic in its general aesthetic... But then, with a light laugh:]
I think it would have been even better with the salamander, though I can't say whether it would have attracted more followers or pushed them away in the end.
Sometimes it seems that way. There are many very brutal gods. That's why I wanted to know more of this church. Merely because something is holy does not mean it is worthy of trust.
I understand... That's a wise way to approach things. Even though more than one god oversees my nation, it isn't so many that one has to be particularly careful about unknowns.
It celebrates life, emotion and the connection between people. The actual building was similar to this, without the little creature. Much about this is familiar, really.
[GLANCING AROUND... The way he's about to be so let down to hear he somehow ended up in some other god's afterlife.]
[Judged more harshly for his faith than his chastity...]
It seems that being shrouded in darkness is quite a theme for yours. [With a little bit of mirth in his tone, and then:] May I ask for the tenets, at least? Or the primary belief or beliefs?
[IT'S CAVES TIME. Whenever Shadowheart goes to mosey on through and reaches the door set into the wall, she'll open it into... a church! One that's similar and yet slightly different from the one in their neighborhood. This one lacks any cute axolotls which is the biggest crime. The light streaming through the many stained glass windows also appears to be moonlight, so the entire building has a bit of coldness to it in spite of the general welcoming air.
Lucas stands up near the altar, where he's curiously peering at a few items laid out on it. There's a rosary, a silken bag that appears to have something inside of it, and a full chalice. He'll glance up when someone else enters the space, smiling pleasantly.]
Good afternoon. This is quite the incredible place, isn't it?
[she will... do whatever thing you do to make it happen. concentrate. it starts to look very gloomy and purple in here. she's conjuring the shape of a temple (ignore the fire), but it's hazy on the edges, she can't make out the details entirely. there are statues of shar and a large, imposing altar, but she loses it shortly after trying, making a frustrated sound.]
...No. I can't recall it. Even now that I'm dead, I still can't.
Shar values discretion above all else. When we go out in the world to serve her, we surrender our memories. If I were to be captured, tortured, enspelled, even then I would be unable to betray any of her secrets.
But!! After a second of concentration, a different church begins to form around them! It's a bit similar in structure to the one he'd shown before, but there are no windows in this one, and the architecture is more gothic-leaning with ornate arcs and a spiraling staircase. The pews are made of a dark oak wood, with bouquets of flowers tied to the end of every pew. The only light source are these strange pillar structures emanating a red glow, which are wrapped in thorny vines and roses.]
I recalled this and thought it might be something you enjoyed.
[NOT THE UGLY TEMPLES... Lucas mostly brought her here because it's dark and vaguely gloomy.]
It was a church that belonged to the founding Minister, back in the days when the Royal Family were persecuting the faiths. It's actually below the ground, so there were few ways to allow light in.
Well. Perhaps that is the measure of the power of faith, isn't it? Shar worship is illegal for good reason - the corrupt and comfortable have reason to fear us.
Any faith worth believing in must sometimes challenge the powerful, I think.
I would agree! It's a wonderful thing that the true and devout can't be defeated by any attempt at silencing them, no matter the world it takes place in.
Oh... The two don't get along? How terrible... [Sad! Even god siblings should be able to rely on each other...] What ideology do they follow that makes them so incompatible?
Selǔne was jealous of her sister, so she ruined her perfect darkness. She convinces her followers to believe in false comforts and promises, which they cling to. Her followers spread propaganda to smear Shar's name.
[she's wearing a wig. it has been a day. but on top of that, she's trying to slink away from the end of the holiday market as she's starting to look kind of... slimy and nasty.]
[THERE IS A LOT HAPPENING JUST HERE RIGHT BEFORE HIS EYES. It's enough to distract him from the fact that he's freezing to death, having never experienced the wonders of snow before.]
...Do you need to sit down for a moment, dear? You're looking a bit... under the weather.
It's not painful, is it? [At least he doesn't seem too outwardly perturbed by this. GIRL your TENTACLES. Tragically he doesn't have anything on him to offer, either, so he's just kind of glancing around and looking for a stall that has clothing.]
I'll hope for the same... I'm so sorry you've ended up dealing with something this strange?
[He has not seen anyone become as worms (tentacles) before.]
Perhaps we can take a little walk around the market... It seems changes in temperature, setting, emotions and such can cause other changes to happen, from what I've seen so far.
[Worm meds for Shadowheart... He looks pleased to see that it seems to be helping, at least! But also a bit concerned.]
May I ask what was troubling you, then? ...Unless thinking about it too much would trouble you all over again, after you're just starting to get things under control.
Ah, yes... Things do move quickly. [A little frown.] I was going to speak to the angels about those apples later, as well. Surely they aren't meant to be here...
Ah. I see... I had hoped that the trials they were to give us would be more self-contained and personal. I do believe most here would be able to overcome this, but it's such a terrible risk, given what we know and don't know of what happens to the souls that die here...
...All the same... Even if it's perhaps a bit naive to believe it, to lose the chance at a return to life or paradise would surely be enough to dissuade anyone, yes? We all know what we're here for.
What I said to the angels was... ironically, I think someone like myself, who wants to return home for my own sake, has a better chance of resisting. But for someone who wants to use an apple for someone else, perhaps those costs would be worth it.
Even if it's meant to tempt us and prove we can resist, it's not quite fair.
Ah, that's true, I suppose... [Everyone get better gods who can grant your wishes, damn.] But I do agree that it's unfair in more ways than one. Perhaps they can do something to change it...?
I'm glad to hear it! I've never been to a party like that, but the atmosphere was certainly lively through the whole night. Though I do wonder how the goose got back in...?
People are already capable of causing such messes even when they're fully sober... I'd hate to think of what they might do when incredibly intoxicated...
He's in front of the cave, leaning back onto the heels of his palms and just kind of staring out toward the shoreline! It's so hateful out here! He snaps to attention pretty quickly whenever anyone approaches though, so he'll look her way and offer a nod after he clocks her presence, though he doesn't say anything just yet.]
[not the way my ass keeps forgetting the weekly effects. He can have his nice drape of ice again, shimmering faintly in the catches of sun that make it this far.]
Thank you. [A small smile. At the very least, he doesn't seem inconsolable. Just sad in that soft and faint way.] ...Neither of them deserved to lose their chances. What a terrible thing...
Thank you... [A little, considering pause, and then:] He died attempting to defend others from an act of heinous, senseless brutality. It's not something anyone should be forced to endure even once, let alone over and again.
It does. There's something deeply unfair to it. I've heard others speculate that even this is merely a part of our trials, but a loving God who believes in redemption would surely not be so cruel.
We can try. I want another chance for myself, but I don't want to consent to some notion of redemption where some of us are sacrificed but it's fine if we answer correctly about which way we'd send the trolley. I'm too stubborn for that.
[Girl why does so much happen... all the time. Lucas is probably out by the water somewhere again unless she wouldn't be there and then they can be wherever the heckie she is, or in the void. But! He'll nod whenever he spots her.]
...We have some answers now, it seems, but not as many as I'd like to have.
...I do worry that too much damage has been done for some people to be able to trust them, even if they make improvements... But any improvement will be a good thing to see.
[He is so worried about so many people and so many things.]
I feel a bit silly now, though. He was cavalier on Friday when we spoke, but I'd just assumed it to be his attempt at lightening the mood a bit.
[Not everyone treats trust the way he does, in the same way not everyone treats faith. He understands it, at least. Then, after a little hum:]
I did think the same, though it may have been a little more than what I'd experienced in the past. ...If changes don't begin to manifest until Saturday, then there isn't much we'll be able to do to preempt an attack.
I hadn't thought overly-much of it since he did joke a bit to lighten the mood last week, and I wasn't really thinking about many things in general, yesterday... [He had to dedicate his one braincell to Yves.] But it may be something to consider, at least. Strange behavior potentially as early as Friday. Certainly it begins as early as Thursday night, if both Garrett and Jing Yuan are metrics to measure by.
It couldn't hurt, at least... I couldn't tell that anything was unusual with Jing Yuan, but we had also all barely known one another for a week by then. Perhaps it will become easier with time.
[steals a page from flurry's book THIS IS ALSO A NONSTARTER Lucas will be in the garden for the most part, or perhaps the field of flowers! TOSS ME WHATEVER SHADOWHEART U THINK IS FUNNIEST and let me know if you wish for an au lucas or a baby lucas or just normal lucas struggling to hold all these children suddenly]
you can give me whichever you want! au, baby on baby crimes, whatever is fine. the baby i am giving you is about eight years old, but she is also currently hiding in some bushes.]
[THE DICE HAS GIVEN ME NORMAL LUCAS. Truly this week is just going to be like returning to his job. He hears the rustle of the leaves and moves to crouch down a bit, peering.]
[poking her head out. she doesn't have a cut on her face, she just has a recently healed over scar. but she looks very afraid, and she's holding a knife in her hand.]
[A BABY. Lucas immediately crouches down so he's not standing so tall, though he keeps a bit of distance for the time being just since she seems so scared.]
Right there! [Pointing at her...] The biggest rabbit I've ever seen, and a very darling one, too.
[A disdainful lost child... Lucas is unperturbed, at least. He has dealt with so many kids.]
You can call me Lucas. I've lived here for some time, now. [Two of the LONGEST WEEKS OF HIS LIFE.] If you're no rabbit, then might I ask for your name, as well?
[Hmmm painting a bad picture that he does not like!!!]
Ah... You aren't meant to be here? If you're going to be punished, then I won't say a thing. I had thought you might be comforted to know that someone from your faith could find you, but if that's not the case, then this can be a secret between you and I.
Of course, my dear; they won't hear a word of it from me. It isn't your fault you've ended up here. You're not allowed to leave the temple grounds, then...?
I know of you. That your lady values secrecy above all, and that she and her sister don't get along. That's all, really. I don't know anything about what life is like for you.
You've hardly told me anything, but I won't let anyone know you've said a word. [Just because he knows secrets are big, and doesn't want to give her any other reason to stress.]
[what a week! there's bloody people to chase, unless you're on cyoa 2 and this is before that, but afterwards, she's just sitting and having a drink. come join.]
[He'll go grab himself a drink first, and then take a seat beside her.]
It's certainly been that... I wonder if these are more aligned with the actual trials we were meant to face? ...The - strange happenings with memories and age, not the Thursday violence.
I don't agree with that way of going about things, either. Children have nothing to repent for.
[THEY ARE JUST BABIES!!!! He will fight god.]
And I don't see what sort of lesson it teaches to a person once they're grown again. If anything, people have just ended up needlessly confused or upset over reverting...
Well, no. I don't think children have anything to repent for, either.
[although it is much, much easier when they are young.]
For me, it's disorienting. I have no memories of that period of my life. Part of me has always wanted to know more about who I was back then, but I haven't felt that any of it has given me the answers I wanted.
[He takes a little sip of his drink, just kind of pondering over a few things for a moment and deciding what he does or doesn't want to say. Eventually:]
What sort of answers were you hoping to find, then, if you haven't found them yet?
Ah... And even now, you can't recall? [There's a little frown.] ...Rather - even if you were an orphan, surely there were those who cared for you before.
[HELP the way it didn't even cross his mind. Sometimes you drink on Thursday right before the murders start to happen. It is fine. They're in the void! Lucas has his lil bag with him.]
Oh, my... You're going to give Garrett a run for his money at this rate. [Digging in his bag...] Do you need any ibuprofen?
[Though there's a little beat after that, and a sigh.]
It does break the pattern so far, of our afflicted claiming they were looking for a challenging fight.
[well we can look for people being weird but sometimes they are just awkward assholes.]
I wish I had insight, but I don't know much about what she would have done. The week before, I know she locked herself in our room early, but I don't know if she kept it up.
[Sometimes they are just awkward assholes. He shakes his head at that, though.]
I heard from dear Euphausia that she was with them and the Magnus brothers out in the woods, last night... I don't know if one of them invited her or if she was out that way on her own.
If the two of you had been fine with making your own way on Thursdays up to now, I don't necessarily think it was a lack of consideration on your part...
[He fusses over Marcoh, but he fusses over everyone.]
I do wonder why they chose the woods, though. They were already terrible enough to navigate even during the day...
True. If I were fleeing someone, that might be the place I would first think to flee to. After all, if I'm lost all night, that's better than dead. It might give the best chance someone would have to survive until sunrise.
[so... it's now making her think that's exactly what su waner was trying to do.]
[Lucas is out by the gazebo shortly after trial! Just kind of taking a hot second to breathe and come back down from the absolutely insane emotional rollercoaster the last thirty minutes or so were for him, in spite of his put-together demeanor. Can Yves stop being suspicious for one trial. He is going to eat his own left fist.
Whenever he spots Shadowheart, though, she'll get a little nod.]
There could hardly ever be anything satisfying in uncovering the bloodied hands of a person who was presumably forced into the act against their will, after all...
[That flash of anger they all saw just brought him back to Zhongli's comment about wrath.]
[Another slow nod. He stares off toward the flowers quietly, thinking.]
I do assume that might be what's happening, at least... A sin amplified in each individual impacted, or something along those lines. It does feel like a very biblical interference.
They're somewhat familiar to me, but not precisely... It does put those of us without any knowledge at a slight disadvantage in terms of knowing what to potentially expect and how signs may manifest.
I would agree with that, though it says quite a bit that they need to twist and compel us in order to get us to "fail". Even the apple tree was presumably left untouched.
[Unless Neverah was both possessed and wanted an apple super bad which would be wild.]
From what I recall, Garrett was also quite irritated with the fact that people kept asking him why he'd done what he did. The answer that he gave was obviously unsatisfactory, and I imagine that when others pressed for more, he also didn't have much else to give.
No. I had the same frustrating experience with him - he kept insisting he did it to prove he was "better," but wouldn't explain what he meant. Though I admit I am not a great interrogator. I swiftly lost patience with both of them.
You're a better interrogator than I am... After Jing Yuan and hearing just a bit of conversation from the other two, I chose not to ask either of them more directly for their reasons.
[Good to know(???) he was not wrong in assuming they were all bad and insane.]
[welcome to the memory zone... i'm throwing us right into it. she opens a door and they appear in the funhouse.
(you can watch this video for visuals / atmosphere if you like).
The memory is unfocused, hazy around the edges, something that happened long ago and is half forgotten, as though some of the glass on the funhouse mirrors is fogged or hazy. Maybe if you explore down a particular path, more will come to light, but for now, you follow.
A little girl wanders the forest, lost and fearful. It’s a cool night, not cold, but enough to shiver from the wind. It is pitch black except for the full, bright moon overhead, but the trees here loom impossibly tall overhead, nearly blocking out the light. She’s obviously worried, but not afraid. She keeps looking up at the sky, checking the position of the moon, taking a certain direction. She chews her lip and looks uncertain with herself, and she’s cut and bloodied her face from a branch, but she keeps wandering.
There’s no way to tell why this child is lost here, whether she’s been abandoned or left here on purpose or if there’s some other reason. There are a few branching side paths that maybe reflect thoughts, memories of earlier that night, of the reason, but Shadowheart - the real Shadowheart beside you - doesn’t choose to look that way, as she suddenly freezes in complete terror.
Bounding out from the woods is a large wolf. Impossibly large, really, imagined here the way it looked to the child it was looming over, much bigger and fiercer than her. The child is frozen as well. The wolf’s golden eyes are trained on her, fierce and dangerous, its teeth bared. As it pads slowly towards her, its ears press back and its tail swishes back and forth. Not even the posture of an animal hunting prey, but an animal itching for a fight, making itself an obvious threat.
Tears are rolling down the girl’s cheeks and she stumbles backwards, trembling. But then she realizes, behind her, is a woman in a mask, who puts a gentle hand on her shoulder.
And then there’s a path out of this section of mirrors, and a feeling like you must take it, you must leave this memory, because the only other direction to turn is down a dark, dark corridor and everything is telling you that you don’t want to go that way. Whatever memories continue on in that direction, they're hidden, and perhaps they should remain hidden. But Shadowheart is still frozen from fear at the sight of the wolf, so she has not yet left this memory behind.]
[It's so hard to keep your head straight when it's being bombarded with thoughts and feelings and sharp, biting fears that don't really belong to you. Lucas sees the wolf, sees the frightened young girl, and sees Shadowheart just as frozen, and he's left - really wanting to get out of here, first and foremost. The dark corridor is certainly not a welcome sight, even though he thinks, briefly, about Shadowheart's inability to remember back into her past even with the effects from the prior week. Just not having any answers, even then.
It's not like they can move from the memory right now anyway, since he's not about to leave a frightened Shadowheart behind. Instead, he moves nearer, reaching out to lightly touch her arm and speaking as quietly as if he's concerned the figures in the memory may well hear him if he's too loud.]
[the touch does help. she lets out a breath she was holding.]
Sorry. I'm - the wolf - it's silly, but -
[she's fought demons, monsters, creatures far more powerful than this, but this wolf holds such a place in her nightmares. the mirrored walls reflect it; despite lacking memories of so much else, waking up night after night having dreamed of the wolf that was attacking her. her all-consuming fear, and the reminder to feel grateful to the people who saved her, no matter what else they did to her. wolves always remind her of that fear, she always freezes in terror when she sees them.
but they're still here in this memory, and unlike the dreams, it continues on without them. the woman takes the girl away, but her fear is not abated by this. she keeps turning her head, turning her so she won't see, as the other women in spears surround the wolf and pierce its body. the little girl winces at the wolf's horrible help, feeling sorry for it despite everything.
but she only sees it for a brief moment, before the woman in the hood and mask steers her away - that the wolf transforms back into a man.]
[It's an automatic sort of statement, like a teacher used to soothing, but one he believes in nonetheless. When a reaction is that strong and immediate, it has a reason behind it. No matter what that reason is, the way that it causes ripples in a person's very stability is something he doesn't think should be waved away.
But the memory continues on, and Lucas experiences it a bit absently, his attention momentarily divided between the Shadowheart at his side and the Shadowheart haunted by wolves. It's only when the wolf changes shape into something else entirely that his attention is drawn more strongly forward, and his eyes widen in - confusion, first, and surprise.]
[she doesn't understand what's going on. or at least, she has barely more context for it than he does. her context is that it's not unheard of for people to transform into animals where she's from, she knows druids, she knows of people with curses like lycanthropy. but she doesn't have any idea why there's a person here. an elven man, older, with long dark hair. the resemblance is pretty clear, and he reaches for the girl, and he calls out a name - Jenevelle.
but then the memory is over; the girl is taken away, she doesn't see anymore, she doesn't see what happens to him, so the memory can't continue.]
[The pizza argument is coming back to haunt in the worst way... He blinks as the memory wraps up, ending there, and one hand raises to rest briefly over his own heart.]
...Do you recall that name?
[From when she was even smaller than the distrustful little Shadowheart that hid in the bushes like a rabbit.]
[There's a little, discomforted pause as he sits with what he wants to say for a second, but eventually:]
You became small again in the middle of the debate - I don't know if you remember it... But back then, when you were asked for your name, you gave that one.
[it's an odd feeling, to be so disconnected from your own past. she takes a breath as they leave.]
I suppose I wanted to know my history, but... if I did have family looking for me, I don't know what that means. Where they are now, if they're even still alive.
Well, yes. I mean, I don't know specifically, but I wouldn't put abducting children past the Mother Superior. I only wonder, if they did, why they never looked for me.
[actually, a thought does occur to her, but it's a bit of a scary one. she only partly voices it.]
I did read once about... a particular town, that had children going missing. They suspected Sharrans were abducting them.
[He isn't going to blaspheme her god, but he is kind of like, girl the body of the faith itself is not looking so hot.]
Do you think you may be among the missing? [He just voices the obvious conclusion, frowning, troubled.] ...If there are so many missing pieces to your recollection and you don't even remember how you got to that forest, I don't think it's out of the question...
[TO SAY THE LEAST. Fury is fair. He too would be furious, but since it isn't him, he's mostly just sad.]
...I fear this week might be difficult for you, but I hope that, if nothing else, you may find a few more answers to the questions that you've had. [...] But what will you do if you find it to be a lie?
she's seen some violent memories, and experienced plenty of violence herself, but it just isn't what she expected from lucas, who seems so calm and peaceful. on the other hand, she truly would not begrudge anyone taking out their piece of shit parents, so she mostly just watches him to see what his reaction is before she decides what to say.]
Lucas is just kind of watching the mirrors with a little, displeased frown, but otherwise doesn't seem too perturbed by anything crossing the glass.]
Again... [The mirrors do like showing this one for whatever reason. He sighs a little, not really waiting for it to end before he glances over toward Shadowheart. He doesn't turn to look at her more fully or speak until it tapers off, though.]
This isn't the situation in the way that I experienced it.
I assume it must be something like that. It's the strangest thing... Sometimes these mirrors will show me things that have certainly never happened to me before, and others times they show things like this, where parts are similar, but not the whole of it.
[girl she will never judge a little murder if the person being murdered was an asshole who deserved it.]
...That does sound very different - of course you'd protect your sister from that. [don't even WORRY about murdering for that.] This was almost as though you were disagreeing on some sort of mission.
[He also wouldn't judge a little murder for good reason but SOMETIMES... Sometimes you don't like admitting you supermurdered your parents, even if they were insane.]
My father was very obsessed with notions he's had in his head for quite a long time, that much is also true... [RELIVERS!!!] We clashed over many points before I left with Nadia.
Of course. She's your family. [she barely knows what to make of family, but they're not meant to be like that. they're meant to be loving, protective, kind.]
[It's a softness and a sentiment that really seems to touch him, and he rests a hand over his heart.]
She is. I love Nadia very, very dearly... There isn't anything in this world- [A brief glance toward the mirror.] -or any that I wouldn't do to ensure her safety and happiness. I wouldn't be able to call myself a very good elder brother, otherwise.
...Do you regret it? What happened with your mother and father?
[she doesn't know what to think about it, but she does strongly feel as though the concept of family itself is not so important as it is the love of one.]
...Well, I do agree with that at large, I suppose. Ultimately, I would have preferred not to. Nadia deserved to grow up with loving parents and a healthy body.
It was very unkind to her. It feels as though it's always the children who suffer...
[It's part of why he gets so ridiculously upset when he sees things like Shadowheart's own memories. Children are innocent and yet they always suffer.]
...Shall we find our way out of here? Before the glass decides it isn't done with its cruel little games.
[He also does. There's a little bit of something tired reflected in his smile.]
...Ultimately not, I suppose, given we're still dealing with the same end result. But I would like to think no one would do this in their sane and rational mind.
I know that when people were discussing the possibility of Firefly or Brimstone targeting someone for an apple, that was a reason to not vote for her. Because presumably, she wouldn't kill again. ...I can understand the logic, but something about it still doesn't sit entirely well.
[It's because he is a vengeful person who thinks those who spill the blood of innocents should face punishment for the crime of it.]
[for her, it would depend on who and why whether she wanted their blood spilled, but it would be hard to forgive.]
It's possible it's still the best thing to do, for everyone's survival, to vote for the person who has lost their mind. [...] Then again, if the situation were less ambiguous than Firefly's, there's an argument for making it quite clear to anyone else considering trying for an apple that you do so at the risk of your life. I don't want to let anyone thinking about it believe that they can safely rely on us focusing on the other culprit.
Considering we can supposedly keep whomever we don't vote for under supervision of our choice- [JAIL.] -then I would say your idea isn't a terrible one. I would hate to set a precedent.
[YOU CAN'T JUST KILL FOR APPLES AND CLAIM SELF-DEFENSE AND FLEE BECAUSE THERE ARE POSSESSED PEOPLE OUT THERE.
the way i typed this tagbomb up at like 10am and i see only gun chaos and punching now]
[A sad weekend... we parted the best potential ship in the game, elyheart...... His own vibes are mostly just mild. Mild curiosity, mild echoing sympathy when he feels her sadge vibes. Mild concern...]
Against... whole skeletons?
[Not just the bones of a normal person beneath their normal flesh and skin??]
Given the creative mentality some of our afflicted seem to have, I almost think it would be better to have straightforward murderous weapons at this point...
[It would be so much less messy to just beat someone to death with a morningstar than whatever the hell happened to Zhongli.]
That is precisely how I feel. If we had weapons, would more of us die? Or would I just know that if someone tried to kill me I could bash their head in?
It might be something worth asking the angels about... If people are going to die regardless, I would also like to see more have a way of defending themselves against their attackers, instead of simply being forced to run.
[He dislikes the hunter and prey dynamic of it all very much and it shows with the discomfort that threads through his vibes.]
[SHE'S SO FUNNY. He does in fact assume she's referring to pre-murder.]
Well, we were given very little information about how things worked at first, so it's sensible to wish to have a way of defending yourself in case things went awry.
[LATER AFTER THE PARTY probably back in the manor at some point, he'll flag her down once he spots her. Is she still wearing her beautiful party attire so he can AT LEAST COMPLIMENT HER.]
He said "your derisive contributions to Heaven are entertaining." And he said he didn't know how I got here, but that I have a "fraudulent talent hiding the real me underneath."
Excuse me! We have never met!
[to be honest i think the letter was saying that her truth confession about being nice made her being from a nihilistic death cult make a lot more sense but she thinks it was RUDE]
[THE WAY SHE DESCRIBES IT HE ALSO THINKS IT'S RUDE. He's a little startled...]
Oh! My... Goodness, that is quite rude, isn't it? He only asked me if I enjoyed something and I am not entirely certain what he was referring to. I wonder why he was so unkind to you... I haven't heard of anyone else being written to by this Harold, but perhaps we should see later.
I think what was meant is, Charlie tried to convey to us that this was the first time they have been able to reach us. So the odd messages we've been getting are something else.
There were blacked out words, but I think she was telling us to be careful of something.
Marcoh and I were talking about that earlier... Since so many of the messages seem quite insulting and unkind, really. I'd imagine it might come from our interference, then.
I've heard we're not meant to be opening them when a strange thing comes knocking, but it's a bit difficult to decipher what that might mean when I assume it's not going to be a literal door...
[...]
Though our literal doors have also been giving us quite a lot of trouble.
[What a mood! He walked back earlier but is just hanging out in the lobby, resting with the bunny in his lap. Like yesterday, his vibes are mellow.]
Hello, dear. Are you doing alright...? [CONCERN... The post cyoa sauce is bad actually. Though there's a little blip as he seems to recall something.] Ah - I accidentally received a letter of yours yesterday. I can fetch it for you if you don't mind waiting a moment?
[A nod! He will move to stand, still feeling a bit concerned despite the fact that she's externally doing her best out here. cyoa on emotionshare week where you can't hide is always so funny]
Just a moment--
[AWAY HE GOES well he moves kind of stiffly considering his own injuries, but he will move to his room to fetch the letter he got, along with the little gifties, which he will hand over.]
I didn't read it after I saw that it was addressed to you. I'm not entirely certain why it ended up with me...
But! He seems pleased that her vibes improve some, and there's some warmth for Charlie, too.]
She's just the sweetest, isn't she? She wrote to me in that very first batch of letters... Hearing from her even by writing is so refreshing, it's like she's right here with us.
[A little hum of agreement, but then he also looks a bit concerned.]
...Zhongli and Charlie both sent me letters that had multiple parts that I couldn't read, as well. But... I assume she meant for Zhongli's body, then. We'll have to keep it in mind and be more thorough this time.
I did wonder if that's why we have two again this week... I'd truly like to think that no one else would be tempted by the apples, but if this means that a new person is afflicted every week and the previously afflicted remain as such...
I ought to try speaking to God as well... [He keeps trying to talk to his own but they're LEAVING HIM ON READ so.]
But that's good to know. I know that this affliction causes some sort of damage to the soul, and that leaving it for too long could put them at great risk, to the point that they may need to be remade...? Or so I've heard. For their sake and the sake of the other lives here, it's best for them to be returned to a place where they're free from the interference's influence.
I'm sure we would all rather avoid it if there happened to be a better way. Even knowing that they're close by and safe doesn't negate the difficulties of passing for them, or loss for the rest.
[this struck a nerve and now he gets to deal with her being suddenly very upset.]
Whether it's right or whether it isn't, I don't want to keep hurting people I care about. I don't want that to be the only thing I can do. It isn't fair.
[coming back to friday pcs after saturday is always so funny.
He meets the upset with the same sort of mellow air, though there's concern in it, too. And something adamant as he says:]
It isn't the only thing that you can do. [A beat.] ...But it is an unfair and cruel situation. I wish that I had something of greater worth to say... I don't wish to give only cold comforts.
So it does. [There's a little lilt of something softly melancholic, but it doesn't surface for long.] ...At the very least, we can do whatever possible to support one another through the difficulties, in whatever ways we can.
[He's also trying to limit walking around, so he will come join her with his sonion bunny in tow. The vibes are mellow, still, but faintly tired and sad.]
It's always tiring... It never gets any easier. [In fact, it gets harder!] And it seems many more were afflicted than initially thought, as well. What about you, my dear?
[He will permit it gladly... He is fond of Shadowheart, even if he is also sleepy from a long day of being a bunny in trial.
Lucas frowns a little.]
Yes... That worries me, as well. That person will almost surely act again if we can't find them, and if we still don't know any better ways of healing a soul of this affliction... I worry for what might happen for their home or Heaven should they return wounded.
[The :ben: energy of someone aging at a rate of 100 years a second.]
I don't believe that he would... He didn't move without a fair amount of evidence this time, but I still plan to speak to him regardless. Later, though.
[He is truly too squishy to be doing these things which is his main reason why he didn't like it, even though he knew it was ultimately for the best.]
It was... And others have mentioned concerns for the possible frenzy of bloodshed that could have come next, if the situation were slightly different. I'm glad that Yves is trusted enough that no one reacted rashly, even though he acted without warning.
[THE CORGI CAR... It is healing. Lucas is lying on the ground next to some sleeping corgis and just kind of staring up at the sky, spacing out, but his attention will drift to Shadowheart whenever she appears. He pats the spot on the ground next to him! As much as he can without disturbing his corgi treasures.]
Hello, dear... Would you like to take a seat and have a rest?
[She is so valid for that. This little corgi is so soft and puffy and fluffy and good to push one's face into.
That said, while Lucas likes dogs, he loves cats, so he perks up immediately at that.]
Oh? There is? That's quite exciting. There was a cat near my sister's hospital that I was quite fond of, but I was never able to take care of one as a pet... Do you like cats, my dear?
[He is thinking about her commenting to every Anders cat picture.]
[Matching animal loving shirts... Truly, how could anyone dislike a sweet little kitty cat!!]
They're so charming, aren't they? But dogs are lovely, as well. [Patpating one of these sleepy corgis who rolls over with its stubby little legs up in the air for a moment.]
Oh, that was you? [A nod...] It's a reasonable request to make, I feel. I would worry for the safety of these sweet little dogs... Their legs are so very small, how could they run quickly if they needed to escape danger...?
[Welcome to the bell tower... He's sitting on the floor with his hands clasped in prayer, though he'll open his eyes once he hears someone else enter.]
[HE JUST KIND OF looks like he zones out for a second, his gaze becoming a little distant and drifting to some point over Shadowheart's shoulder. But it doesn't last very long.]
I don't know why that was the case, or how it could have been.
[There is something about this that he seems to deeply and instinctively reel away from, to the point that he rises to stand, though his hands stay clasped together.]
[she swallows again. she knows this terror too well to be fully comfortable with it. the horrors of the things that might have been done to you, that you might have done, in the cracks in your knowledge about yourself. she curls her hands in her lap.]
I know you would never want to harm your students.
[He does seem to ease at that, at least. Most of his outward-manifesting tension is pretty mild regardless, so it's really only visible in the slight slope of his shoulders and the way his folded hands lower just a bit.]
[There's a thin flicker of a hesitant smile, because he logically understands how the affliction works, but just can't apply it to himself. Not when it comes to Yves - never Yves.]
Of course. I'm certain that I will, and I'll be sure to write back as soon as I know it so that you all may rest at ease.
[At this, his smile shifts to something rather peaceful instead, much in the way it was when she first entered and he was in the midst of prayer.]
Please... There isn't any need to offer me such sentiments, though I appreciate the kindness of your heart, always. If even one or two are safe now, then that is enough for me.
[Lucas can be found on his way out of the church later in the day! Some things do not change... He's holding something in his hand, but he'll lift the free one to greet Shadowheart when their paths cross.]
They were, somehow, despite the fact that there were quite a bountiful number of things to do over there... But I think they also just missed you a great deal.
[And wanted to lighten the mood a bit since the living side is always going through it...]
[There's a little warm smile in return, because he's glad! Shadowheart deserves to know that she is loved.]
I'm glad. I do believe that it was a mixture of boredom and an attempt at creating some levity that drove some of them to send theirs, after all... A bit of distraction and a reminder that we weren't completely distant entities.
[A tiny little huff of a laugh, genuinely amused and warm.]
You're too kind. ...But thank you. I did miss you, as well, even if it wasn't a long parting. I've found that writing letters isn't my strong suit, unfortunately.
Thank you—but I do agree with that. They have quite a way with words both in person and on paper, don't they? To be able to express oneself without any limitations like that is quite a remarkable talent, indeed.
It's a shame we only have so much time left. I think the two of them should lead a course on how to write letters like they do...
[He is mostly joking though, and there is mostly gremlin energy except for the bit of sadness and something kind of lonely at thinking about how they'll all part ways soon.]
It would be nice if that were the case. [There's a little beat.] ...With how long these past two months have gone on, it's strange to think that it's almost over, isn't it?
I suspect so... I know that most of us are choosing to return home, and many have unfinished business that must be attended to, but I do selfishly wish that we were able to have more than one week together in peace.
[...]
...Well. Peace is perhaps a bit too strong of a word.
Ah... I wonder if such a thing would be possible. [Quiet and thoughtful with a little prickle of a lonely feeling.]
...Well, there's no harm in asking, at the very least. Even just a bit more would be nice, though I imagine some are antsy to return. It helps to know we'll be sent back to a point that allows us to avoid our deaths, though.
[Same sad hat. Though it's understandable, too...]
...Even knowing that we'll be returning to that earlier point, it does make me anxious to think that more time will still pass in the interim, so I can understand it, myself. I could also understand worries about more things going wrong... Ah, if only it was an easier thing, to simply have everything we want even when those things are at odds.
Perhaps that's what makes it particularly vexing in this case.
[He is still smiling peaceably, but there is a tiny rile of something slightly agitated in his vibes about it.]
...Well. I suppose even this much is more than many of us could have hoped for at the beginning of it all, given how we came to be here in the first place.
[our beach is back! our beautiful beach. she has showered and changed out of whatever hideous outfit i forced her to be in and is instead wearing something simple and comfortable and sitting out on the beach.]
[Same mood... Lucas is also clean and free, and he moves over to sit next to her where she sits on the sand that betrayed him not that long ago. He also has a bottle of wine, but he will be a good host and offer it out to her.]
I didn't think to bring glasses, but if you'd like any...
[It has been a long day, and there's just the tiniest flicker of something hesitant in the vibes before he nods.]
I will be, yes. [At least when he says it, he feels pretty convinced.] ...You'll be returning to your home as well, yes? Will it be alright for you there?
[IT IS TRULY THE FUNNIEST POSSIBLE OUTCOME FOR HIM HE'S JUST BACK IN HEAVEN AGAIN, STILL A SERIAL KILLER.]
Embarrassing is a word for it. [The first person back.........] But I'm glad, then. I truly hope that you're able to live in peace once the threat you're facing has been dealt with.
[it's fine. in another life she's really comfortable with this, he's just doing a Dark Urge speedrun.]
My world is not entirely a peaceful one. There's some sort of crisis or invasion or calamity every few decades.
[but she's not really faint hearted about these kinds of things, either.]
The truth is, I find the idea of having to make a life for myself in peace far more frightening than any battle I could face. But it would be nice to have the opportunity to try. [it is not something she has ever had before.]
But he just nods at that, and there's both empathy and something sad but understanding in the vibes.]
It can be a difficult idea to adjust to. [Peace. He says it softly, and sighs.] But I do hope that the option remains for you. You deserve to enjoy that peace and tranquility someday, whatever form it may come in and however you may find it.
saturday 0
and then she appears to be startled when someone comes in after her.]
Ah, hello! I was just looking for someplace to be alone with my thoughts for a moment.
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This is very funny since he also has a glass in his hand that definitely came from the bar, though he moves to place it on another pew before making his way over.]
The church is certainly a good place for that. I do hope that I'm not interrupting you, then...?
[Gazing up at the omnipresent axolotl...]
What unique decor.
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Not at all. I actually found it impossible to meditate in here once I noticed the salamander. So the effort is wasted either way.
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Salamander? Is that what this is...? [He blinks, looking between her and the CREATURE.] I see... Its charm is a bit distracting, so I can understand.
[He says it in a lightly teasing tone, though.]
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[she'll smile right back.]
You find yourself taken with him? Perhaps I've underestimated the appeal.
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[FIRST THE EGGS, NOW THE SALAMANDER...]
We may need to take a vote and see who among us finds him charming. Ah, though... If you're distracted by it, wherever will you go to pray?
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[but teasing.]
Maybe it's a bit cute. In an unsettling sort of way.
[she shrugs at that.]
Truth be told, this sort of church is not where I would be inclined to pray either way. I was merely curious about it; I want to learn more about the gods of this place.
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[THEIR WEIRD MASCOT. But, with just a tiny hint of amusement:] Do you prefer churches that are cloaked in gentle shadow?
[A beat; he looks up toward the empty church front.]
This is quite similar to the church that I spent my time at, so the familiarity is a bit comforting.
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[still, she'll look around as well.]
Salamander and all?
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[IN THE DARK. Wild... His Catholicism brand is still very classic in its general aesthetic... But then, with a light laugh:]
I think it would have been even better with the salamander, though I can't say whether it would have attracted more followers or pushed them away in the end.
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...Well, I do agree with that... Faith comes in many unusual forms, it seems.
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Oh! Oh, dear... They sound very bad, then - very bad, indeed.
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[GLANCING AROUND... The way he's about to be so let down to hear he somehow ended up in some other god's afterlife.]
May I ask about yours?
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You may. Though secrecy is one of the core virtues - there may be things I cannot speak of.
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It seems that being shrouded in darkness is quite a theme for yours. [With a little bit of mirth in his tone, and then:] May I ask for the tenets, at least? Or the primary belief or beliefs?
w0 mon!
Lucas stands up near the altar, where he's curiously peering at a few items laid out on it. There's a rosary, a silken bag that appears to have something inside of it, and a full chalice. He'll glance up when someone else enters the space, smiling pleasantly.]
Good afternoon. This is quite the incredible place, isn't it?
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It is incredible. You made this, just from your memories?
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[Wonders and so many fucking churches.]
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[it's not her sort of church, but she recognizes how happy it's made him. there's something wistful about that.]
It's wonderful that you remember it well enough to recreate it this way.
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I do remember it well. I imagine that will be the case for years and years to come. [His head cants a little to the side at that, though, curious.]
Did you have any one particular place of worship that you frequented?
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[she will... do whatever thing you do to make it happen. concentrate. it starts to look very gloomy and purple in here. she's conjuring the shape of a temple (ignore the fire), but it's hazy on the edges, she can't make out the details entirely. there are statues of shar and a large, imposing altar, but she loses it shortly after trying, making a frustrated sound.]
...No. I can't recall it. Even now that I'm dead, I still can't.
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When it falters, though, he'll turn to look at her with some faint concern.]
...I'm very sorry... That must be a painful thing. May I ask why you've forgotten...?
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Shar values discretion above all else. When we go out in the world to serve her, we surrender our memories. If I were to be captured, tortured, enspelled, even then I would be unable to betray any of her secrets.
...But it shouldn't still be like this.
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[It sounds kind of cruel, but he will keep the sentiment to himself, watching as she touches her hand and frowning faintly.]
After death, you mean? Were you meant to remember it all then?
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[frowning.]
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[The enchantment said axolotls specifically can't know the secrets.]
If you talk to one of the angels, they may be able to help you.
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[Said with a little sigh. This heaven is weird but that's what happens when you leave axolotls in charge, apparently.]
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[but she's frustrated, obviously, even if there's a solution.]
Enough of this. Let's - you had conjured a beautiful image of your home.
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Ah... Well! I doubt my church is very well-suited to your tastes, so I could show you something that I think you might enjoy a little more?
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[and to not focus on her lack of memories so much.]
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But!! After a second of concentration, a different church begins to form around them! It's a bit similar in structure to the one he'd shown before, but there are no windows in this one, and the architecture is more gothic-leaning with ornate arcs and a spiraling staircase. The pews are made of a dark oak wood, with bouquets of flowers tied to the end of every pew. The only light source are these strange pillar structures emanating a red glow, which are wrapped in thorny vines and roses.]
I recalled this and thought it might be something you enjoyed.
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[it's still not much like the style of sharran temples, but then, the sharran temples are fairly ugly.]
Where is it?
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It was a church that belonged to the founding Minister, back in the days when the Royal Family were persecuting the faiths. It's actually below the ground, so there were few ways to allow light in.
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Your faith was being persecuted, then?
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...They're a very fickle bunch.
[And also stupid.]
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Well. Perhaps that is the measure of the power of faith, isn't it? Shar worship is illegal for good reason - the corrupt and comfortable have reason to fear us.
Any faith worth believing in must sometimes challenge the powerful, I think.
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Of course, then comes the moment when two are true and devout, but serve a different cause.
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Is that common where you're from...?
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...My goddess has a twin sister, Selûne, the Moonmaiden. The Selûnites are our bitter enemies. So, yes, it happens.
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[But with a sigh, the new church begins to fade away, leaving them back in the pink cloud room so i can set you free from this w0 pc]
...In any case, thank you for allowing me to share some of my faith with you.
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[be free...]
week 1; monday
Did chocolates do this again...
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...Do you need to sit down for a moment, dear? You're looking a bit... under the weather.
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Anyway he just watches this happen with some faint surprise.]
Ah?
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I don't think they will have wigs enough to cover this! Ugh!
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Would a scarf work?
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[her tentacles! she's covering her face.]
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[As he fastly waddles through the snow to go to the nearest lil bazaar kiosk that has fabrics on it to paw through for something...
He returns!! With a wooly scarf that's very good quality and also patterned with stoats wearing christmas hats.]
Will this do?
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It's perfect. Hopefully this will pass before I have to encounter any other living beings.
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[He has not seen anyone become as worms (tentacles) before.]
Perhaps we can take a little walk around the market... It seems changes in temperature, setting, emotions and such can cause other changes to happen, from what I've seen so far.
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[holding her own hand, sighing out. it does seem to be working, relaxing is making her a bit less wormy.]
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May I ask what was troubling you, then? ...Unless thinking about it too much would trouble you all over again, after you're just starting to get things under control.
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[but it's obvious she doesn't agree.]
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Ah. I see... I had hoped that the trials they were to give us would be more self-contained and personal. I do believe most here would be able to overcome this, but it's such a terrible risk, given what we know and don't know of what happens to the souls that die here...
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I'd like to think none of us would do that, but I'm not so naive to believe it.
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...All the same... Even if it's perhaps a bit naive to believe it, to lose the chance at a return to life or paradise would surely be enough to dissuade anyone, yes? We all know what we're here for.
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What I said to the angels was... ironically, I think someone like myself, who wants to return home for my own sake, has a better chance of resisting. But for someone who wants to use an apple for someone else, perhaps those costs would be worth it.
Even if it's meant to tempt us and prove we can resist, it's not quite fair.
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week 1; wednesday
Good evening! I trust it's been an enjoyable one.
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Oh, it has. That was just the thing we all needed, I think. [DIVORCES AND GOOSE ATTACKS.] Did you have a good time, yourself?
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I surprised myself, but I really did.
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I'm glad to hear it! I've never been to a party like that, but the atmosphere was certainly lively through the whole night. Though I do wonder how the goose got back in...?
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Perhaps it's taken a fancy to you?
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week 1; friday
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He's in front of the cave, leaning back onto the heels of his palms and just kind of staring out toward the shoreline! It's so hateful out here! He snaps to attention pretty quickly whenever anyone approaches though, so he'll look her way and offer a nod after he clocks her presence, though he doesn't say anything just yet.]
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...I'm sorry, Lucas.
[she'll approach, though she doesn't sit yet.]
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Thank you. [A small smile. At the very least, he doesn't seem inconsolable. Just sad in that soft and faint way.] ...Neither of them deserved to lose their chances. What a terrible thing...
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...Perhaps there is still some way to help them.
[she's just offering it as a possible consolation, not necessarily what she believes to be true.]
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It's true that their souls are still in existence, at least... Out there somewhere, surely.
[Though that does little to help in the here and now, it's something that he does find solace in.]
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[But this isn't his Heaven and he no longer wants to be here.]
I should hope now that his soul may find a better path to a kinder Heaven.
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[well.]
I mean, I knew he died, but not - any details or anything.
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Thank you... [A little, considering pause, and then:] He died attempting to defend others from an act of heinous, senseless brutality. It's not something anyone should be forced to endure even once, let alone over and again.
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[charlie and adolphe... but then there's dan.]
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It does. There's something deeply unfair to it. I've heard others speculate that even this is merely a part of our trials, but a loving God who believes in redemption would surely not be so cruel.
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[Become a teacher and fight god.]
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[Said with a little nod as if to reaffirm.]
w1 sat!
...We have some answers now, it seems, but not as many as I'd like to have.
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It doesn't seem that any of them will do anyone much good right now.
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No, it doesn't... Though some are good to know for the future. The possibility of interference does seem likely.
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[man, though.]
And the angels promised to... communicate better. Which I suppose is all we can ask for now.
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[He is so worried about so many people and so many things.]
I feel a bit silly now, though. He was cavalier on Friday when we spoke, but I'd just assumed it to be his attempt at lightening the mood a bit.
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[it's pretty simple. she's willing to give them a little more time to meet that demand, but not willing to budge on it.]
Hawke was? He's always somewhat like that.
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[Not everyone treats trust the way he does, in the same way not everyone treats faith. He understands it, at least. Then, after a little hum:]
I did think the same, though it may have been a little more than what I'd experienced in the past. ...If changes don't begin to manifest until Saturday, then there isn't much we'll be able to do to preempt an attack.
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[no one is going to tie someone up and declare them possessed because they didn't feel like kissing a bird gently.]
How was he acting?
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Just - making light remarks about different ways to fortify the barriers. Buttering the floors.
[That too may have simply been Hawke, but it was the cavalier way in which it was delivered that gives him pause on retrospect.]
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I hadn't thought overly-much of it since he did joke a bit to lighten the mood last week, and I wasn't really thinking about many things in general, yesterday... [He had to dedicate his one braincell to Yves.] But it may be something to consider, at least. Strange behavior potentially as early as Friday. Certainly it begins as early as Thursday night, if both Garrett and Jing Yuan are metrics to measure by.
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It couldn't hurt, at least... I couldn't tell that anything was unusual with Jing Yuan, but we had also all barely known one another for a week by then. Perhaps it will become easier with time.
w2 mon!
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you can give me whichever you want! au, baby on baby crimes, whatever is fine. the baby i am giving you is about eight years old, but she is also currently hiding in some bushes.]
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Oh, my... What a rather large rabbit.
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Where is the rabbit?
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Right there! [Pointing at her...] The biggest rabbit I've ever seen, and a very darling one, too.
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There's no rabbit. [her voice has a bit of disdain to it.] Who are you.
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You can call me Lucas. I've lived here for some time, now. [Two of the LONGEST WEEKS OF HIS LIFE.] If you're no rabbit, then might I ask for your name, as well?
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[peering at him with increasing suspicion even though he is being nothing but nice.]
What do you want with me?
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I don't want anything with you, Shadowheart. I merely live here. In a house just over that way, with many other people.
[A little nod in whatever direction the station leading back to the manor is in.]
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Whatever do you mean by that?
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Heretic. I won't tell you her secrets. I'll die first.
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[JUST OH. Lucas who's just internally like OH THIS IS SO YOUNG TO BE A DEVOUT.]
No need to tell any secrets, my dear! And certainly no need to die. I understand your lady prizes secrecy above all.
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You do? You know about us?
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I do! I've heard of her from a lovely person I know who's a very devoted follower.
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[THERE SHE GOES... A skittish child... Lucas remains seated where he is, not leaving and not encroaching further.]
Oh, my... You won't come out from there?
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[a little hurt sounding.]
I'm going to be punished now.
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Ah... You aren't meant to be here? If you're going to be punished, then I won't say a thing. I had thought you might be comforted to know that someone from your faith could find you, but if that's not the case, then this can be a secret between you and I.
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Please don't tell them. I wasn't trying to run away. It was an accident.
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So that I can better learn, without being distracted.
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And... are you enjoying your time there?
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You told me you knew of us. You're lying, aren't you?
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I know of you. That your lady values secrecy above all, and that she and her sister don't get along. That's all, really. I don't know anything about what life is like for you.
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I see. I shouldn't have told you anything.
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week 2; thursday
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I hope you don't mind a bit of company?
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[gesturing to the seat next to her.]
This week has been quite a trial.
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It's certainly been that... I wonder if these are more aligned with the actual trials we were meant to face? ...The - strange happenings with memories and age, not the Thursday violence.
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[THEY ARE JUST BABIES!!!! He will fight god.]
And I don't see what sort of lesson it teaches to a person once they're grown again. If anything, people have just ended up needlessly confused or upset over reverting...
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[although it is much, much easier when they are young.]
For me, it's disorienting. I have no memories of that period of my life. Part of me has always wanted to know more about who I was back then, but I haven't felt that any of it has given me the answers I wanted.
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What sort of answers were you hoping to find, then, if you haven't found them yet?
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[she thinks, for a second, about how honest she wants to be.]
...I've always wondered if there was anyone who missed me. I was told I was an orphan, but I don't know that to be true.
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Ah... And even now, you can't recall? [There's a little frown.] ...Rather - even if you were an orphan, surely there were those who cared for you before.
week 2; friday
where are we, the void? she's here in the void.]
A room to myself at last.
[wait...]
Um, awful joke. I find it hard to believe anyone would have hurt her.
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Oh, my... You're going to give Garrett a run for his money at this rate. [Digging in his bag...] Do you need any ibuprofen?
[Though there's a little beat after that, and a sigh.]
It does break the pattern so far, of our afflicted claiming they were looking for a challenging fight.
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[she doesn't really know what an ibuprofen is, so.]
I'll be fine. It's true, but then again, maybe that was just. Both of their personalities.
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[Just nodding though, assuming she will in fact be fine without the ibuprofen she doesn't know.]
It's possible... We do know very little about-- any of that. How it works, who it affects, the more specific ways in which it manifests...
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[They all just sit here being sadge instead.]
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I wish I had insight, but I don't know much about what she would have done. The week before, I know she locked herself in our room early, but I don't know if she kept it up.
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I heard from dear Euphausia that she was with them and the Magnus brothers out in the woods, last night... I don't know if one of them invited her or if she was out that way on her own.
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[kind of shitty of her, she's realizing.]
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[He fusses over Marcoh, but he fusses over everyone.]
I do wonder why they chose the woods, though. They were already terrible enough to navigate even during the day...
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Also, admittedly, there is an aesthetic to them.
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[RIP investigators, my god.]
There is, and I suppose there's also merit in the idea that one's pursuer may get just as lost and turned around as the person fleeing.
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[so... it's now making her think that's exactly what su waner was trying to do.]
w2 sat!
Whenever he spots Shadowheart, though, she'll get a little nod.]
Holding up alright after all of that?
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I think I'll never get used to that feeling, right at the end. It almost feels good to solve them, to make progress, like we're going to win.
And then we have to confront who may have done it, and all of that just vanishes.
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There could hardly ever be anything satisfying in uncovering the bloodied hands of a person who was presumably forced into the act against their will, after all...
[That flash of anger they all saw just brought him back to Zhongli's comment about wrath.]
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I do assume that might be what's happening, at least... A sin amplified in each individual impacted, or something along those lines. It does feel like a very biblical interference.
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They're somewhat familiar to me, but not precisely... It does put those of us without any knowledge at a slight disadvantage in terms of knowing what to potentially expect and how signs may manifest.
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[Unless Neverah was both possessed and wanted an apple super bad which would be wild.]
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So, I tried to ask her about it. She insisted she killed Su Waner because she was weak and terrible, and she was doing all of us a favor.
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He makes a little bit of a grim expression.]
Well. That makes about as much sense as the reasons I got from the other two, in that it makes no sense at all and hardly seems within her character.
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No. I had the same frustrating experience with him - he kept insisting he did it to prove he was "better," but wouldn't explain what he meant. Though I admit I am not a great interrogator. I swiftly lost patience with both of them.
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You're a better interrogator than I am... After Jing Yuan and hearing just a bit of conversation from the other two, I chose not to ask either of them more directly for their reasons.
[Good to know(???) he was not wrong in assuming they were all bad and insane.]
week 3; monday
(you can watch this video for visuals / atmosphere if you like).
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It's not like they can move from the memory right now anyway, since he's not about to leave a frightened Shadowheart behind. Instead, he moves nearer, reaching out to lightly touch her arm and speaking as quietly as if he's concerned the figures in the memory may well hear him if he's too loud.]
Shadowheart?
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Sorry. I'm - the wolf - it's silly, but -
[she's fought demons, monsters, creatures far more powerful than this, but this wolf holds such a place in her nightmares. the mirrored walls reflect it; despite lacking memories of so much else, waking up night after night having dreamed of the wolf that was attacking her. her all-consuming fear, and the reminder to feel grateful to the people who saved her, no matter what else they did to her. wolves always remind her of that fear, she always freezes in terror when she sees them.
but they're still here in this memory, and unlike the dreams, it continues on without them. the woman takes the girl away, but her fear is not abated by this. she keeps turning her head, turning her so she won't see, as the other women in spears surround the wolf and pierce its body. the little girl winces at the wolf's horrible help, feeling sorry for it despite everything.
but she only sees it for a brief moment, before the woman in the hood and mask steers her away - that the wolf transforms back into a man.]
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[It's an automatic sort of statement, like a teacher used to soothing, but one he believes in nonetheless. When a reaction is that strong and immediate, it has a reason behind it. No matter what that reason is, the way that it causes ripples in a person's very stability is something he doesn't think should be waved away.
But the memory continues on, and Lucas experiences it a bit absently, his attention momentarily divided between the Shadowheart at his side and the Shadowheart haunted by wolves. It's only when the wolf changes shape into something else entirely that his attention is drawn more strongly forward, and his eyes widen in - confusion, first, and surprise.]
—What in the world...?
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[she doesn't understand what's going on. or at least, she has barely more context for it than he does. her context is that it's not unheard of for people to transform into animals where she's from, she knows druids, she knows of people with curses like lycanthropy. but she doesn't have any idea why there's a person here. an elven man, older, with long dark hair. the resemblance is pretty clear, and he reaches for the girl, and he calls out a name - Jenevelle.
but then the memory is over; the girl is taken away, she doesn't see anymore, she doesn't see what happens to him, so the memory can't continue.]
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...Do you recall that name?
[From when she was even smaller than the distrustful little Shadowheart that hid in the bushes like a rabbit.]
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I don't. I don't remember any of this.
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You became small again in the middle of the debate - I don't know if you remember it... But back then, when you were asked for your name, you gave that one.
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[it's an odd feeling, to be so disconnected from your own past. she takes a breath as they leave.]
I suppose I wanted to know my history, but... if I did have family looking for me, I don't know what that means. Where they are now, if they're even still alive.
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There's a little beat of silence after he looks back toward her.]
...Would they have had any reason to have taken you from your family? The people from that night.
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Well, yes. I mean, I don't know specifically, but I wouldn't put abducting children past the Mother Superior. I only wonder, if they did, why they never looked for me.
[actually, a thought does occur to her, but it's a bit of a scary one. she only partly voices it.]
I did read once about... a particular town, that had children going missing. They suspected Sharrans were abducting them.
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Do you think you may be among the missing? [He just voices the obvious conclusion, frowning, troubled.] ...If there are so many missing pieces to your recollection and you don't even remember how you got to that forest, I don't think it's out of the question...
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[which is troubling? bad? to say the least.]
I always thought at least I ought to be grateful to them for taking me in when no one else wanted me, but if even that is a lie...
[she's sad but more than that she's furious.]
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...I fear this week might be difficult for you, but I hope that, if nothing else, you may find a few more answers to the questions that you've had. [...] But what will you do if you find it to be a lie?
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[and they aren't going to do that willingly.]
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Do you intend to do so on your return? To demand those answers...?
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[but she wants to, too. but also, give me a memory, too?]
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[Whether that's getting answers or getting revenge if need be or both or more.
But the mirrors will start to play another memory after he speaks.]
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she's seen some violent memories, and experienced plenty of violence herself, but it just isn't what she expected from lucas, who seems so calm and peaceful. on the other hand, she truly would not begrudge anyone taking out their piece of shit parents, so she mostly just watches him to see what his reaction is before she decides what to say.]
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Lucas is just kind of watching the mirrors with a little, displeased frown, but otherwise doesn't seem too perturbed by anything crossing the glass.]
Again... [The mirrors do like showing this one for whatever reason. He sighs a little, not really waiting for it to end before he glances over toward Shadowheart. He doesn't turn to look at her more fully or speak until it tapers off, though.]
This isn't the situation in the way that I experienced it.
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[or no, something else, some other crazy thing?]
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I assume it must be something like that. It's the strangest thing... Sometimes these mirrors will show me things that have certainly never happened to me before, and others times they show things like this, where parts are similar, but not the whole of it.
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What do you remember happening, then?
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I did kill my parents. But they were in direct pursuit of my sister and myself, and the orphanage that sheltered us was at risk because of it.
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...That does sound very different - of course you'd protect your sister from that. [don't even WORRY about murdering for that.] This was almost as though you were disagreeing on some sort of mission.
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My father was very obsessed with notions he's had in his head for quite a long time, that much is also true... [RELIVERS!!!] We clashed over many points before I left with Nadia.
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If this was the world you were living in, instead of the one you remember, what would that mean to you? What would it change?
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...I suppose not much would change, ultimately, in the sense that it seems Nadia's life is always in peril, and I would never stand to let it be so.
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Of course. She's your family. [she barely knows what to make of family, but they're not meant to be like that. they're meant to be loving, protective, kind.]
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She is. I love Nadia very, very dearly... There isn't anything in this world- [A brief glance toward the mirror.] -or any that I wouldn't do to ensure her safety and happiness. I wouldn't be able to call myself a very good elder brother, otherwise.
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I've always felt a little jealous, of those who have siblings like that. She is quite lucky to have you.
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I'm the one who's lucky, really... If I could share this fortune with the world, I would gladly do so.
[Part of him wonders if Shadowheart did have siblings like that, once upon a time, but he leaves it quiet.]
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[she doesn't know what to think about it, but she does strongly feel as though the concept of family itself is not so important as it is the love of one.]
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If I were to regret that, it would be like regretting that Nadia is still able to live as herself today.
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[Unfortunately, Relivers are insane.]
I don't know that I would call it regret, though.
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[even if he had done something different, would it have given her the things she deserved?]
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[It's part of why he gets so ridiculously upset when he sees things like Shadowheart's own memories. Children are innocent and yet they always suffer.]
...Shall we find our way out of here? Before the glass decides it isn't done with its cruel little games.
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[let's flee the mirror maze...]
week 3; friday
god what a horrible friday. she's just looking at the chipper updates, still trying to process it.]
Another damned apple, I suppose.
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With the increased offerings, it might be so... Though part of me wonders if it might be desperation on the part of this interfering force.
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[she fucking hates the idea of anyone targeting either of these two people of their own volition.]
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...Ultimately not, I suppose, given we're still dealing with the same end result. But I would like to think no one would do this in their sane and rational mind.
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[even if that's not how elysia saw the world, even if she tried to understand everyone.]
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I suppose we'll see tomorrow. We'll have to work hard with fewer hands and two deaths to investigate... I hate the idea of one being left unsolved.
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[It's because he is a vengeful person who thinks those who spill the blood of innocents should face punishment for the crime of it.]
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[for her, it would depend on who and why whether she wanted their blood spilled, but it would be hard to forgive.]
It's possible it's still the best thing to do, for everyone's survival, to vote for the person who has lost their mind. [...] Then again, if the situation were less ambiguous than Firefly's, there's an argument for making it quite clear to anyone else considering trying for an apple that you do so at the risk of your life. I don't want to let anyone thinking about it believe that they can safely rely on us focusing on the other culprit.
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[YOU CAN'T JUST KILL FOR APPLES AND CLAIM SELF-DEFENSE AND FLEE BECAUSE THERE ARE POSSESSED PEOPLE OUT THERE.
the way i typed this tagbomb up at like 10am and i see only gun chaos and punching now]
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week 4; monday
anyway, the mood today is sad, but doing a little better than she was over the weekend.]
You would not believe how poorly these hold up against skeletons.
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Against... whole skeletons?
[Not just the bones of a normal person beneath their normal flesh and skin??]
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Oh, yes. The dungeons here are crawling with them.
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He just looks and feels faintly surprised, though.]
Dungeons? [Apparently he has not gotten that far yet.] Oh, dear... They truly did capture a castle experience in its entirety.
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[It would be so much less messy to just beat someone to death with a morningstar than whatever the hell happened to Zhongli.]
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I think the latter.
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[He dislikes the hunter and prey dynamic of it all very much and it shows with the discomfort that threads through his vibes.]
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[and that was before people started murdering, she was truly just that sussy and guarded in heaven.]
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Well, we were given very little information about how things worked at first, so it's sensible to wish to have a way of defending yourself in case things went awry.
[Which they did.]
w4 weds!
Ah - Shadowheart, do you have a moment?
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Hmm? What is it?
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[THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. Even if she is less put together about it now...]
But I was also told you got a message from a strange "Harold" as well...? I wished to ask you about it. Did they send you a box of pancakes?
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[but then she hears the rest of this.]
No, he didn't send me pancakes! He sent me a very rude message!
[what the fuck!]
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Oh... Dear. Well. May I ask what message he sent...?
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Excuse me! We have never met!
[to be honest i think the letter was saying that her truth confession about being nice made her being from a nihilistic death cult make a lot more sense but she thinks it was RUDE]
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Oh! My... Goodness, that is quite rude, isn't it? He only asked me if I enjoyed something and I am not entirely certain what he was referring to. I wonder why he was so unkind to you... I haven't heard of anyone else being written to by this Harold, but perhaps we should see later.
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[harold you absolute freak.]
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Perhaps we were meant to share the pancakes as a wedding gift, then.
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I didn't think to ask who he was. Hopefully one of the others will tell us?
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[Uncertain vibes. Harold who are you.]
...Ah, I was also told by Charlie that she sent information to you and Anders that I should ask you about.
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I think what was meant is, Charlie tried to convey to us that this was the first time they have been able to reach us. So the odd messages we've been getting are something else.
There were blacked out words, but I think she was telling us to be careful of something.
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Marcoh and I were talking about that earlier... Since so many of the messages seem quite insulting and unkind, really. I'd imagine it might come from our interference, then.
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[is it outside somehow?]
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[...]
Though our literal doors have also been giving us quite a lot of trouble.
week 4; friday
Hello, Lucas.
[waving to see him. the mood is still very bad. how is he doing.]
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Hello, dear. Are you doing alright...? [CONCERN... The post cyoa sauce is bad actually. Though there's a little blip as he seems to recall something.] Ah - I accidentally received a letter of yours yesterday. I can fetch it for you if you don't mind waiting a moment?
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[the post cyoa sauce is bad but despite not just having a completely mellow brain she does seem to be pushing through it externally well enough.]
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Just a moment--
[AWAY HE GOES well he moves kind of stiffly considering his own injuries, but he will move to his room to fetch the letter he got, along with the little gifties, which he will hand over.]
I didn't read it after I saw that it was addressed to you. I'm not entirely certain why it ended up with me...
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she doesn't know if she really trusts him that he didn't read it, because she would definitely have read someone else's letter, but it's fine.]
I'm not certain, either.
[but reading this makes her very warm, even if sort of fondly exasperated, which is a huge step up. charlie you are so adorable.]
Oh, for gods' sake... At least don't cry on the letter.
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But! He seems pleased that her vibes improve some, and there's some warmth for Charlie, too.]
She's just the sweetest, isn't she? She wrote to me in that very first batch of letters... Hearing from her even by writing is so refreshing, it's like she's right here with us.
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[sigh. it does make her happy, but she's concerned, too.]
She still can't get everything through she said she would. And she seems to be saying last week, with the body check, we missed something important.
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...Zhongli and Charlie both sent me letters that had multiple parts that I couldn't read, as well. But... I assume she meant for Zhongli's body, then. We'll have to keep it in mind and be more thorough this time.
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[That isn't good either, damn.]
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He was adamant that the best way to help them would be to send them to where the other souls are recovering.
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I ought to try speaking to God as well... [He keeps trying to talk to his own but they're LEAVING HIM ON READ so.]
But that's good to know. I know that this affliction causes some sort of damage to the soul, and that leaving it for too long could put them at great risk, to the point that they may need to be remade...? Or so I've heard. For their sake and the sake of the other lives here, it's best for them to be returned to a place where they're free from the interference's influence.
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I hate the notion of having to think about killing one of our own, even if it's the best outcome.
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I'm sure we would all rather avoid it if there happened to be a better way. Even knowing that they're close by and safe doesn't negate the difficulties of passing for them, or loss for the rest.
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Whether it's right or whether it isn't, I don't want to keep hurting people I care about. I don't want that to be the only thing I can do. It isn't fair.
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He meets the upset with the same sort of mellow air, though there's concern in it, too. And something adamant as he says:]
It isn't the only thing that you can do. [A beat.] ...But it is an unfair and cruel situation. I wish that I had something of greater worth to say... I don't wish to give only cold comforts.
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I think the only comforts anyone could give are cold. You can't reassure me it doesn't have to be that way, because it does.
[so she's grateful for his concern, but also grateful he didn't try to pretend otherwise.]
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week 4; saturday
Lucas. How are you feeling?
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It's always tiring... It never gets any easier. [In fact, it gets harder!] And it seems many more were afflicted than initially thought, as well. What about you, my dear?
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Frankly, the thing that worries me most is unchanged. We still don't know who killed Zhongli.
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Lucas frowns a little.]
Yes... That worries me, as well. That person will almost surely act again if we can't find them, and if we still don't know any better ways of healing a soul of this affliction... I worry for what might happen for their home or Heaven should they return wounded.
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...I haven't noticed anyone's behavior being particularly amiss since last Thursday... I wouldn't have even the faintest guess.
[He was also so mentally absent that trial as i got ochazuke with eli so he doesn't even know what the details of the case were.]
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I've heard a few of the names that are being considered, but I would agree. I wouldn't wish to see anyone take such a risk.
[Even if people became more certain, he doesn't want to see anyone burden themselves the way Yves had.]
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I don't believe that he would... He didn't move without a fair amount of evidence this time, but I still plan to speak to him regardless. Later, though.
[Yves is going through it tonight.]
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[obviously lucas knows this, but fond. she trusts yves' judgment very much, he is simply much too squishy to be doing these things.]
And he did the right thing, even if it was a shock to see.
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It was... And others have mentioned concerns for the possible frenzy of bloodshed that could have come next, if the situation were slightly different. I'm glad that Yves is trusted enough that no one reacted rashly, even though he acted without warning.
w5 mon!
Hello, dear... Would you like to take a seat and have a rest?
Re: w5 mon!
A rest with these little sleeping darlings? That sounds delightful.
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Please, do. I've found them to be very healing.
[As she sits, a few other corgies from around the area will shuffle over to join her.]
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They're so sweet. Apparently this is how Wis'adel got that cat for Anders - there's a cat location in our future.
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That said, while Lucas likes dogs, he loves cats, so he perks up immediately at that.]
Oh? There is? That's quite exciting. There was a cat near my sister's hospital that I was quite fond of, but I was never able to take care of one as a pet... Do you like cats, my dear?
[He is thinking about her commenting to every Anders cat picture.]
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[she is just generally a huge animal lover.]
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They're so charming, aren't they? But dogs are lovely, as well. [Patpating one of these sleepy corgis who rolls over with its stubby little legs up in the air for a moment.]
This was a well-timed addition, certainly.
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[Bunny room... Kitty room... Baby panda room...]
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...I would agree... It's certainly the best, at least. Many of the other places I've enjoyed have been involved with the deaths, as well.
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That's true, I suppose... Goodness. Let's pray that they're spared from such a thing.
[The corgis. The body would be dead so it can suffer a little indignity...]
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It might upset their little stomachs.
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I would worry about that, as well... If they aren't used to... raw meat, really, then it could do them harm.
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[it's horrible to imagine that a sweet corgi could get sick if it ate the body of someone who was poisoned to death and dumped here.]
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[MURDERER(S) THINK OF THE POOR CORGIS he's displeased over the notion...]
These sweet dogs are such innocent souls... Perhaps we ought to bar the entrance to that car on Thursday evening.
week 5; saturday
Lucas...?
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Ah— Shadowheart, dear. Hello.
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What happened?
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I'm afraid I can only answer so much. I don't know what happened to Yves.
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[frown...]
You found him?
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...I must have... gotten his rapier earlier. We did spend our time together that night, when we were all locked down.
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Can you tell me what did happen, and why? I want to understand.
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...If I didn't act quickly... I worry for what might have become of them. So I went to find them before they could be found by another.
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Not someone... The source behind it all.
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[A nod! He does remember that as a thing that definitely happened.]
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[Amen!]
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I see. But for Yves, you were seeking him out, wanting to find him before anyone else hurt him, but you don't recall finding him?
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No, I don't. I know that he was there with me when the barrier appeared... But after that, I had found Saber.
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I don't know why that was the case, or how it could have been.
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...I'm not pushing because I want to be cruel. But you have to look at it, Lucas. Eventually, you have to look at it, or it will always haunt you.
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...I would not do harm to my students.
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I know you would never want to harm your students.
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...Yes. And so I never would.
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[or maybe anywhere, for him.]
But I hope you'll find out what happened to him, and let us know.
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Of course. I'm certain that I will, and I'll be sure to write back as soon as I know it so that you all may rest at ease.
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I'm sorry that this happened to you. You didn't deserve this.
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Please... There isn't any need to offer me such sentiments, though I appreciate the kindness of your heart, always. If even one or two are safe now, then that is enough for me.
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[she will just. let him have this.]
I think they'll all be safe now, no matter what happens.
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...Yes. They will be. ...I merely wish it could be said for the rest of you, as well.
w7 mon!
Have your reunions been going well?
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[nodding at him, a little warmth with it.]
It is very wonderful to see all of you again.
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I'm glad. I know that quite a few people missed being able to speak with you directly, even if they acted out a bit over it.
[Said fondly, though...]
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[amused.]
What do you mean, exactly?
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[Yves and Elysia... He blames them. Fondly.]
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[laughing, though her emotions are embarrassed.]
I'm sure they were just bored.
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[And wanted to lighten the mood a bit since the living side is always going through it...]
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Well, I was always happy to receive letters. Even the nosy and cheeky ones were a bit funny.
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I'm glad. I do believe that it was a mixture of boredom and an attempt at creating some levity that drove some of them to send theirs, after all... A bit of distraction and a reminder that we weren't completely distant entities.
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You're too kind. ...But thank you. I did miss you, as well, even if it wasn't a long parting. I've found that writing letters isn't my strong suit, unfortunately.
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[He is mostly joking though, and there is mostly gremlin energy except for the bit of sadness and something kind of lonely at thinking about how they'll all part ways soon.]
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[or at least that it would be possible to do so. a bit of sadness at that as well.]
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It would be nice if that were the case. [There's a little beat.] ...With how long these past two months have gone on, it's strange to think that it's almost over, isn't it?
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[...]
It's hard. I'm not ready to have to say goodbye, but I suspect I will have to.
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I suspect so... I know that most of us are choosing to return home, and many have unfinished business that must be attended to, but I do selfishly wish that we were able to have more than one week together in peace.
[...]
...Well. Peace is perhaps a bit too strong of a word.
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I wish the same. Perhaps we could even ask it, at the end - even if god cannot help us see one another after this, maybe we could have more time.
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...Well, there's no harm in asking, at the very least. Even just a bit more would be nice, though I imagine some are antsy to return. It helps to know we'll be sent back to a point that allows us to avoid our deaths, though.
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[but she shares some of that sadness about goodbyes.]
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...Even knowing that we'll be returning to that earlier point, it does make me anxious to think that more time will still pass in the interim, so I can understand it, myself. I could also understand worries about more things going wrong... Ah, if only it was an easier thing, to simply have everything we want even when those things are at odds.
[Said with some wry amusement.]
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[a slightly crooked smile back.]
There's never any easy way to get everything, but it's harder to see what it could be.
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[He is still smiling peaceably, but there is a tiny rile of something slightly agitated in his vibes about it.]
...Well. I suppose even this much is more than many of us could have hoped for at the beginning of it all, given how we came to be here in the first place.
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I certainly didn't expect to be given a second chance, so I won't complain.
[but she'll complain a little.]
week 7; saturday
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I didn't think to bring glasses, but if you'd like any...
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That will do just fine.
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I do enjoy that we won't have lost contact with one another entirely, but I'll miss having the option to come share a drink with you like this.
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[sighing a little, drained. it has been a long day.]
Will you be alright, Lucas? Going home?
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I will be, yes. [At least when he says it, he feels pretty convinced.] ...You'll be returning to your home as well, yes? Will it be alright for you there?
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The situation is not necessarily safe or good, but I have some confident we'll prevail. Is it the same for you, perhaps?
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Similar, yes. It's neither safe nor good, but I do have faith that it can be fixed.
[He is going to badend his whole island.]
You have what you need to succeed, then? I wouldn't wish to see anyone back here too soon, after all.
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I couldn't say for sure, but I think so. Battles are battles. It would be embarrassing to return.
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Embarrassing is a word for it. [The first person back.........] But I'm glad, then. I truly hope that you're able to live in peace once the threat you're facing has been dealt with.
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My world is not entirely a peaceful one. There's some sort of crisis or invasion or calamity every few decades.
[but she's not really faint hearted about these kinds of things, either.]
The truth is, I find the idea of having to make a life for myself in peace far more frightening than any battle I could face. But it would be nice to have the opportunity to try. [it is not something she has ever had before.]
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But he just nods at that, and there's both empathy and something sad but understanding in the vibes.]
It can be a difficult idea to adjust to. [Peace. He says it softly, and sighs.] But I do hope that the option remains for you. You deserve to enjoy that peace and tranquility someday, whatever form it may come in and however you may find it.