pc: marcoh

[sacredpath]

Comments

[boxcar]

Really? I couldn't tell. Sorry.

...

Is it that it's too... [ Hm. How should he say it. ] Bright?

[sacredpath]

In a way. But only metaphorically.

[she keeps wandering with no obvious destination in mind.]

We've both talked about our faith, but I never wanted to admit it. I was consumed by the fear that I'd been abandoned by my goddess. That if she still wanted me, then I wouldn't be here.

[boxcar]

[ Oh. Yeah. ]

...I get it. I didn't think this was a place I would go either. Not that where I thought I'd go would be better.

It's sort of the opposite. It felt too nice. Being here.

Although the recent things make me think, maybe it wasn't actually a mistake.

[sacredpath]

I don't think it was a mistake, either.

[she looks at him, concern in her eyes.]

When you say you didn't think you'd go here... did you think you'd be punished for something? [or maybe more importantly.] Do you believe your god loves you? Actually loves you?

[boxcar]

...Being loved by gods isn't normal. Not personally. Except for Sylvian, the old god of love, but even then her definition isn't like what you should expect from people.

With the right prayers and affinity, they will sometimes answer you with their blessings. But if you're asking if I've ever heard Alll-mer speak to me, then no.

[sacredpath]

That is how most gods are. But it doesn't have to be. I know my goddess loves me.

And that's why everything is so much easier now.

[boxcar]

If you feel that way, then there has to be something to it. You believe in her. If you haven't done anything wrong in your Lady's eyes, then I don't see why she would.

[sacredpath]

[nodding.]

I haven't done anything wrong. I haven't done anything I need to repent for. Just because I had private doubts and private failings doesn't mean I failed her.

I don't know why I wasted so much time consumed that I'd be judged on those things. In my actions, I was always her champion. And I know now, with certainty, that is enough.

[boxcar]

Having a few doubts isn't unusual, I think. I'm taught that it's the ability to still believe after it all.

...Champion, huh? That's a pretty big title.

[sacredpath]

The title is Dark Justiciar. Somehow I forgot that. Maybe some trick of this place.

I think I'm here on purpose, to serve my role.

[boxcar]

[ Marcoh's just a regular believer. Shadowheart, on the other hand, sounds like she's something more along the lines of a High Priestess. That's pretty cool, honestly. ]

Can I ask what that is?

[sacredpath]

As a Dark Justiciar, I serve as Shar's voice in places she can't reach. I want to spread her darkness here.

This botched redemption trial is the perfect opportunity, isn't it? Everyone will be searching for something else, some other way to find meaning, in the wake of these failures.

[boxcar]

[ Oh like a missionary almost... he just nods at the phrase 'spread her darkness', that's obviously totally normal. He's not a priest himself but he gets it's like a whole thing they do. ]

...I guess so, yeah. Coming from where you are.

[ Though, mm. Sounds like a lot of people are lowkey becoming god-haters in real time. ]

I think, if you have done wrong, it is something you will know. You did say if she is displeased, she would let you know.

[sacredpath]

She certainly would.

[immediate agreement.]

And she has before, but I was naive. I hadn't seen much of the world. When I first began traveling, I was taken by ideas that I knew didn't suit a cleric of Shar, but I thought there was no harm in dabbling in those thoughts.

[boxcar]

Curiosity is not inherently bad, I think. Though I don't mean to tread on what you believe, and how.

[ Quiet thinking. ]

There are a lot of things that. Sometimes don't feel right. They tell you it is wrong. But is it really wrong if it doesn't hurt anyone?

[sacredpath]

[well. got some news for you about sharran beliefs.]

It isn't wrong if it does hurt someone, either.

[boxcar]

How's that?

[ Tell him more. ]

[sacredpath]

Does the God you follow never want people to be hurt?

[boxcar]

... Not exactly.

[ There ain't a single god here that isn't Not Safe For Humans to some level. ]

I guess it is... about if that person deserves it.

[sacredpath]

[she nods...]

That was the problem I dealt with. I didn't want to hurt certain people, even when I knew what Lady Shar's judgment of them would be.

[boxcar]

You smite on her behalf?

[sacredpath]

If necessary.

[boxcar]

[ Wow cool. That's not his job and he would not like to have it be his job, but he nods slowly... ]

But you don't always agree.

[sacredpath]

[well.]

I used to disagree. I used to find it repulsive, sometimes. I would do as I had to do, but inside, every time, I felt no relief, no satisfaction, only pain.

But I've overcome that. I prayed for my doubts to be quieted, and they were.

[boxcar]

[ ...Now

He's generally fairly open-minded if not closed-world. But something about this seems to give him pause, his pace slowing and falling a little behind. ]

If you didn't want to, then you shouldn't have to?