pc: marcoh

[sacredpath]

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[sacredpath]

It was fear for a very long time. But that's why I'm so happy now. She loves me.

[boxcar]

[ GIRL YOUR STOCKHOLM GET OUTTA THERE JENNY we'll make a Selunite out of you yet. Anyway his general respect of her has suddenly turned into something kind of very concerned. Blink twice if you need help. ]

...Because you do what she tells you to.

[sacredpath]

[to be fair her brain really broke right now at the moment.]

Because I passed her tests and proved my loyalty, yes.

[boxcar]

...

I've...

[ Not something he really generally wants to admit but. It was kind of topic-adjacent before this conversation took a worrying turn. ]

...I've also killed someone I did not wish to. But I do not think that is praise-worthy.

I... think of it. Often.

[sacredpath]

[i really fucking wish she would be nice about this. we'll have to pc about this again later when her brain is better,]

...Who?

[boxcar]

[ SHART, YOUR BRAIN. ]

Someone who left the Family.

[sacredpath]

The family? Your family?

[do they have the mafia in baldur's gate i just dont know]

[boxcar]

No, it's a criminal organisation. One of the biggest ones in the Vatican. Lots of connection to the Church.

[sacredpath]

Oh.

[so, she does have context for organized crime syndicates, and what they'll do to you if you don't obey.]

I didn't realize, though it makes some sense. You're so strong. [the scariest part is she's not, for once, saying that like she's objectifying him.] Then these activities were - maybe not officially sanctioned, by approved by the church?

[boxcar]

[ Help not the objectification based conversation sobriety checker. ]

I do not want to say officially sanctioned. More it is like, many members have connections.

[ Nepotism is real and can hurt you... and bribery is such an easy path for some. ]

It does make trying to escape a near impossibility.

[sacredpath]

And even if church members are connected, it does not mean the God you follow accepts it, does it?

[boxcar]

I don't think they care much about tenets and following gods anyway. Or anyone else but themselves.

[sacredpath]

But you care what your god believes. And you've committed a sin before his eyes, haven't you?

[boxcar]

... Yeah.

[sacredpath]

Do you think he'll forgive you?

[boxcar]

[ Well, even if he chose to answer, the silence before might be telling that whatever he thinks is not a yes. ]

...I don't know.

[sacredpath]

I know how that feels.

[she can't reassure him, but she does know.]

[boxcar]

If anyone did, I guess it might be you.

[ Differences aside, she gets the whole religious aspect stuff. ]

[sacredpath]

[she nods.]

I spent a long time pretending that I was her devoted servant, all while believing fully that I was already lost in her eyes, that I'd been thrown away.

I didn't want to admit it outloud to anyone. It would make it more permanent, and I was still clinging to hopes I could somehow undo what I believed I'd done.

[boxcar]

I do not claim to be that important to Alll-mer. I just go to Church. I am no Dark Priest, far from an Apostle.

[ That'd be blasphemous, he's pretty sure, to even try and claim the latter. ]

I don't know if that would make it better or worse.

...But Alll-mer did not make me kill, and I do resent the man who did.

[sacredpath]

[she blinks to herself, finding herself a little confused the longer this conversation goes on - not remembering even what she was professing to believe, or whether it felt right.

The man who did... how did he make you?

[boxcar]

[ This tracks, his views are in shambles too. But it's also probably an effect of him not being good at getting things across very well with words. All he's thinking about is how coercion to do what you don't like or else is not great. ]

He threatened my sister.

[sacredpath]

Ah.

[coercion is a little different, isn't it? it makes a difference.]

Were you able to save her, then?

[boxcar]

[ He. Hesitates. ]

I was working on it. I am working on it.

[sacredpath]

...What do you still need to do to help her?