[hello i'm throwing us right into the thick of it. cw: for eye stuff but the video that's linked censors it.
The funhouse mirrors take you down a path that seems to grow darker as you walk. What is reflected in the mirrors is a hazy landscape, all in grays, with swirling thick darkness that looks like smoke all around. Everything in this land is dead, everything. The ground is cracked and patched. No plants grow here, except for the odd glowing foliage of the underdark, which is adapted to darkness. There are no living animals, but there are beings in the dark. Undead corpses of animals with glowing eyes animated by some evil power, dark shadow shapes, even the corpses of people from time to time, ones who wandered in here and fell.
Other mirrors show flickers of the story of this land. A century ago, this was a thriving and lush landscape ruled over from the nearby castle, Moonrise Towers. There was a market town and many people who lived in the rural areas. But a curse was placed on this land by the goddess Shar. Everyone who once lived here either died or fled, because no life can thrive in the shadows. The shadow curse eats away at anyone who travels through it before they join the armies of undead.
Shadowheart is traveling through this land with her companions, Gale, Karlach, and Astarion. A blessing protects all of them from the worst of the shadows, allowing them to explore, to look for others who have wandered out into the shadows and become lost or missing.
By an abandoned cemetery, they find a little tiefling girl named Arabella. She’s found some magic in her that also offers her protection, even lets her control the shadows - the only reason why she could be out here and still be alive. There’s an inn, not far away, that would offer protection, and many of the other tieflings have taken refuge there, but she refuses to go.
Arabella is looking for her parents, who went missing during an ambush on the group they were traveling with. She recognizes Shadowheart and the party as people who have helped her before and asks that they help her again to find her missing parents. Shadowheart asks Arabella to go to the campsite where the rest of the party is; even if she does have magic of her own, it’s dangerous out here, and she’ll be protected there. Arabella agrees, as long as Shadowheart and the others promise to help.
(Another memory appears on another wall; a cruel woman threatening the girl with a poisonous snake, before Shadowheart intervened; a man and woman who look much like the little girl crying and holding her, expressing gratitude for her safe return, gifting one of their only possessions, a small magical locket, as thanks.)
The path through the mirrors leads to the town’s hospital. The “House of Healing,” a Sharran house of worship. Unlike the rest of the town, it hasn’t been completely abandoned. Inside, undead nurses with headdresses covering their eyes still attend their duties.
Inside one of the hospital rooms, Shadowheart and the others find one of the nurses tending to corpses, gently sponging their heads and feeding them medicine. In the operating theater, the party finds the undead doctor in charge Malus Thorne, who performs surgery on patients who seem to have been kept alive just for this purpose with the help of the nurses.
(Here is video, it’s kind of fucked up but the worst part is censored on Youtube. The dialogue at the end is a little different.)
“Step forward, sister” Thorne gestures to Shadowheart, over the body he’s operating on. “I can see the love of Shar darken your eyes. Be welcome.”
Shadowheart greets him politely, praises how gracefully he speaks the words of Shar.
“Long have I basked in her embrace. A vessel of Shar I will become. Tell me,” he says, his tone teacherly. “What is the guiding principle of the goddess?”
“Absence,” Shadowheart answers, as easily as if she’s attending a lecture.
“Precisely! No other word captures her essence so completely. It is the scalpel led journey that leads from pain to peace.” He begins to stab his scalpel into the skull of the body lying prone on the table, again and again, blood splattering in his wake, and then gestures to show that he has cut out the patient’s eyes. “See? What is the light of eyes but the cancer that causes one to witness the curse of being? If light is the symptom, then darkness is the cure, for in light there is presence, but in darkness there is absence.”
Shadowheart’s companions react to this appropriately, as though something very fucked up is happening here, but Shadowheart just watches, angry.
(Another path has opened up, one that journeys deeper into the hall of mirrors. But it’s pitch black, and whatever ugliness is plain before them in this place of healing, there’s something much uglier down that way.)
The doctor smiles at Shadowheart. “But you, look how the succor of Shar eludes even you. One who walks faithfully in her shadow. See how painfully present you remain.” His voice becomes sympathetic. “Oh sister, we do not wish to see you suffer. Let us cure you.”
Shadowheart responds calmly. “Your nurses are not ready for that. They have been insufficiently trained. How can I trust them to deliver Lady Shar’s mercy?”
“Their incisions are, as yet, streaked with imperfections, I admit,” Thorne says. “How to steady their hands, I wonder?”
“Perhaps they need a better subject to practice on,” Shadowheart suggests. “Not a student, but rather the master.”
He watches Shadowheart for a long moment, and then nods. “...I see now. By example, I must edify and quell the light that blinds us.”
He stabs the patient on the table through the heart with one messy stroke of his scalpel, and shoves the body off the table. In the body’s place, he lies down on the operating table himself.
“Come, sisters. Soothe me!”
The nurses surround Thorne, take their scalpels, and all at once begin to drive the blades into his body, again and again, until there is nothing left but an unrecognizable bloodied husk. Once this is done, the nurses, with no one else to tend to, turn on them, but Thorne was the most dangerous entity here, and without him, the party makes quick work of the nurses.
The undead doctors and nurses are no more, but in one of the hospital rooms, they find bodies that belong to Arabella’s mother and father. There’s no way to recover them; they’ve been operated on and were being tended to by the nurses.
That night, Shadowheart finds Arabella, waiting near their campfire. She tries to tell her that they were unable to save her mother and father, but the girl screams at her that she’s lying and flees into the dark.
(Another dark path opens, down another hallway, something shrouded so that it’s impossible to know what lies there, but you don’t have to take it. This memory can be over now, if you want it to be.)
[ as a healer, this entire scene just absolutely makes him want to crawl the walls. he's unsettled, and more than anything he's sad, because of both shadowheart's answer, and because of the little girl that lost her parents to a nightmare.
and - he should stop. he should try to find his way out of these memories, but he doesn't. his curiosity has him walking down the dark path, because if he's going to invade these memories, he might as well commit.
it gives him insight, he thinks. he at least should try to understand. so he keeps moving. ]
[sure. shadowheart is ready to let the memory go, but he wanders down another path. everything this direction is less clear, hazy, only appearing in brief moments and flashes.
she didn't go to the shadow cursed lands to rescue children or go on errands for them. she had a purpose. and yet, in that moment, it hurt, and she didn't full understand why. arabella was a child it was hard not to get attached to, with her defiance and independence, but even so...
a memory of a child, crying herself to sleep after another nightmare. wondering why no one had come to save her, besides the people who found her. wondering if there ever had been anyone looking for her, waiting for her to make it home. but if there had been, she'd never remember their faces. she'd never see them again.
a memory of a child, who knew she should be grateful to the people who did come for her, the people who took her in. they are the only family she has, even if they show her no kindness. she never seems to do anything the way they want her to. mother superior, and her book, writing disapproving notes of her progress, never finding her good enough. she wonders if it's because of the hopes that she clings to, the desire to remember the faces of people she once knew, and if she tries, perhaps she can let that go and be good enough. to hold onto these desires, to want, to desire to have something of her own is to reject shar.
this is how she learns to wield the knife, to make her incisions perfect, to steady her hand. she practices on strangers, learns how to cut and how to hurt without doing lasting damage. practices for hours upon hours, how to say her prayers, how to praise shar, and she practices this on strangers, too.
but then one of the patients, an older woman, calls out to her. uses a different name than the one she knows. and it shatters her, right in the careful practice, and suddenly there is a presence there in the room with her instead of an absence, a familiar face where a cadaver's should be.
and shadowheart's hand catches jiaoqiu's sleeve because she knows how much what's down this direction hurts and she's scared.]
[ it startles the hell out of him - he jumps so hard he nearly rams into the glass, his tail fur poofing up twice its size, expression surprised. but the hand on his sleeve, and the plaintive request get him to cave immediately. these are not his memories, and this is invasive. it'd be worse to stay.
so - he shifts, takes her hand. ]
Yes. Yes, alright. Let's leave.
[ his heart aches, thinking of the child crying herself to sleep, of a girl with her childhood robbed from her, but he focuses on the woman in front of him, and tugs her gently away from the dark, for now. step by step. ]
[she followed him to bring him back before he went further, but she saw something she feels she wasn't supposed to see, and she's shaken now, holding onto his arm for support. maybe they can finally get out of this area, but she can't forget that face of a person, the way it went from going from a stranger's face to familiar, the way she called out to her like she knew her.]
I don't know what that was.
[she remembers clearly enough, wanting to help arabella, and the anger and grief she felt when she realizes that the little girl lost her family to the Sharrans. but she hadn't realized there was a hole there, a missing piece, until he took another look at it.]
[ he gently pulls her a little closer, happy to support her - his tail wraps around her gently as well, loose enough that it's not constricting but still there. he'll lead her best he can, away from the worst of it. ]
No? [ he asks, carefully. ] It seemed to me like something was missing. You told me your memories were erased. It could have been one of them.
...There are things about myself I'd like to know. Answers I'd like to have. But in between those, there are a lot of things that I'm not sure - maybe it's better for some things to stay lost.
What that man did, he and his nurses - I'm sure I've done things that are no less horrific.
[ that makes sense, he thinks - he's the type of masochistic asshole that would want to know everything he's done, but when she explains it... well, it wouldn't be useful for her. she doesn't need the worst of it. ]
... I'd find it hard to imagine you could do anything as terrible as that, even in the worst of it. [ but maybe that's wishful thinking, he doesn't know.
he adjusts his hold on her a little. ]
Regardless. It sounds like these are things you're no longer willing to do, Shadowheart, even if it would lead to favor.
[one thing to try to find a way to follow shar on her own, but to see, out in the world, the damage caused by shar's followers, to have to confront the damage done to her... she wants nothing to do with it.]
And if you don't mind me saying so, I think you're a better person than your god or the people that brought you in would have you believe. That sort of thing is hard to root out.
... That was a horrible place you found yourself in.
Mmm. I don't really know, but I'll take your say so for the lack of other options.
[said like a joke, but really, what else can she do? she has so little experience with her own self. the people here who have come to know her have just as much information to judge her on as she has to judge herself with, so. it's a comfort, a relief, to know that they see her that way, even if she still has to worry what else might be there.]
Which place? Though on second thought, I agree either way. [the background, or that horrible hospital.] I would say Thorne was particularly insane - he and his family members, other than the one lucky immortal, have all sort of turned into undead wraiths over the past century. Plenty of time to perfect madness.
Some things remain a constant, hm? Immortality is a curse. [ we are still so lost in the mirror maze but at least the glass is silent, for now. ] Why were you there? It strikes me that I actually don't know much about you other than your goddess - I'd like to know you past that.
Well, that's for a quite simple reason. I don't have many memories of my life, so there's little to say. Except for the most reason events, and I'm afraid there's rather a lot to say about that.
[like the whole plot of bg3]
I'm infected by a mind flayer parasite. You mainly have to know that by now, it should have killed me and transformed me into a monster, or at least turned me into some sort of thrall, but we've been lucky and have managed to stop that process from happening.
Nothing we've been up to is anything I was intending to do. We're just trying to survive and rid ourselves of this infection, but it's gotten us in the middle of the plans of people who are trying to use the parasites for their own purposes.
As far as I'm aware. We've spoken with several healers of varying types, and they've all either told us there's nothing they can do or attempted to kill us.
No, our hope is more... there is a group of people who have means to control the parasites, and they're using that for their own purposes, to make an army of thralls. But it's clear that they must have a means to control it, which would be extremely helpful. [so, kill them and either take it or destroy it.]
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branchandroot
week 3; monday
Date: 2025-03-04 02:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-03-04 02:53 am (UTC)and - he should stop. he should try to find his way out of these memories, but he doesn't. his curiosity has him walking down the dark path, because if he's going to invade these memories, he might as well commit.
it gives him insight, he thinks. he at least should try to understand. so he keeps moving. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-03-04 04:22 am (UTC)she didn't go to the shadow cursed lands to rescue children or go on errands for them. she had a purpose. and yet, in that moment, it hurt, and she didn't full understand why. arabella was a child it was hard not to get attached to, with her defiance and independence, but even so...
a memory of a child, crying herself to sleep after another nightmare. wondering why no one had come to save her, besides the people who found her. wondering if there ever had been anyone looking for her, waiting for her to make it home. but if there had been, she'd never remember their faces. she'd never see them again.
a memory of a child, who knew she should be grateful to the people who did come for her, the people who took her in. they are the only family she has, even if they show her no kindness. she never seems to do anything the way they want her to. mother superior, and her book, writing disapproving notes of her progress, never finding her good enough. she wonders if it's because of the hopes that she clings to, the desire to remember the faces of people she once knew, and if she tries, perhaps she can let that go and be good enough. to hold onto these desires, to want, to desire to have something of her own is to reject shar.
this is how she learns to wield the knife, to make her incisions perfect, to steady her hand. she practices on strangers, learns how to cut and how to hurt without doing lasting damage. practices for hours upon hours, how to say her prayers, how to praise shar, and she practices this on strangers, too.
but then one of the patients, an older woman, calls out to her. uses a different name than the one she knows. and it shatters her, right in the careful practice, and suddenly there is a presence there in the room with her instead of an absence, a familiar face where a cadaver's should be.
and shadowheart's hand catches jiaoqiu's sleeve because she knows how much what's down this direction hurts and she's scared.]
Please, we need to leave.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-04 05:23 am (UTC)so - he shifts, takes her hand. ]
Yes. Yes, alright. Let's leave.
[ his heart aches, thinking of the child crying herself to sleep, of a girl with her childhood robbed from her, but he focuses on the woman in front of him, and tugs her gently away from the dark, for now. step by step. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-03-04 01:27 pm (UTC)I don't know what that was.
[she remembers clearly enough, wanting to help arabella, and the anger and grief she felt when she realizes that the little girl lost her family to the Sharrans. but she hadn't realized there was a hole there, a missing piece, until he took another look at it.]
no subject
Date: 2025-03-04 11:57 pm (UTC)No? [ he asks, carefully. ] It seemed to me like something was missing. You told me your memories were erased. It could have been one of them.
[ letting her talk it through, if she wants. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-03-05 12:37 am (UTC)It could be. Wis'adel told me some of what she saw, last week. I - I don't want to remember the things that happened.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-05 12:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-03-05 01:54 am (UTC)...There are things about myself I'd like to know. Answers I'd like to have. But in between those, there are a lot of things that I'm not sure - maybe it's better for some things to stay lost.
What that man did, he and his nurses - I'm sure I've done things that are no less horrific.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-05 02:10 am (UTC)... I'd find it hard to imagine you could do anything as terrible as that, even in the worst of it. [ but maybe that's wishful thinking, he doesn't know.
he adjusts his hold on her a little. ]
Regardless. It sounds like these are things you're no longer willing to do, Shadowheart, even if it would lead to favor.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-05 03:29 am (UTC)[one thing to try to find a way to follow shar on her own, but to see, out in the world, the damage caused by shar's followers, to have to confront the damage done to her... she wants nothing to do with it.]
no subject
Date: 2025-03-05 04:31 am (UTC)[ his tail swishes back and forth behind him. ]
And if you don't mind me saying so, I think you're a better person than your god or the people that brought you in would have you believe. That sort of thing is hard to root out.
... That was a horrible place you found yourself in.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-05 01:05 pm (UTC)[said like a joke, but really, what else can she do? she has so little experience with her own self. the people here who have come to know her have just as much information to judge her on as she has to judge herself with, so. it's a comfort, a relief, to know that they see her that way, even if she still has to worry what else might be there.]
Which place? Though on second thought, I agree either way. [the background, or that horrible hospital.] I would say Thorne was particularly insane - he and his family members, other than the one lucky immortal, have all sort of turned into undead wraiths over the past century. Plenty of time to perfect madness.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-05 09:59 pm (UTC)Some things remain a constant, hm? Immortality is a curse. [ we are still so lost in the mirror maze but at least the glass is silent, for now. ] Why were you there? It strikes me that I actually don't know much about you other than your goddess - I'd like to know you past that.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-05 11:56 pm (UTC)Well, that's for a quite simple reason. I don't have many memories of my life, so there's little to say. Except for the most reason events, and I'm afraid there's rather a lot to say about that.
[like the whole plot of bg3]
I'm infected by a mind flayer parasite. You mainly have to know that by now, it should have killed me and transformed me into a monster, or at least turned me into some sort of thrall, but we've been lucky and have managed to stop that process from happening.
Nothing we've been up to is anything I was intending to do. We're just trying to survive and rid ourselves of this infection, but it's gotten us in the middle of the plans of people who are trying to use the parasites for their own purposes.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-06 01:46 am (UTC)he looks - alarmed?? by this?? hello?? he looks at her like bwuh?? ]
A parasite. [ ... ] I suppose I'm happy to know you aren't a thrall. You - hah, you weren't kidding, were you.
[ there sure is a lot to say about that!! ]
no subject
Date: 2025-03-06 03:06 am (UTC)We really just need to find some specific people and kill them, so. In some ways, easier than many of our personal problems.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-06 07:46 pm (UTC)[ he laughs, just in that sort of what can you do way. ]
Easy as that, I suppose. [ a beat. ] Is there no cure for it? It cannot be medically extracted?
no subject
Date: 2025-03-06 11:30 pm (UTC)No, our hope is more... there is a group of people who have means to control the parasites, and they're using that for their own purposes, to make an army of thralls. But it's clear that they must have a means to control it, which would be extremely helpful. [so, kill them and either take it or destroy it.]
no subject
Date: 2025-03-07 04:26 am (UTC)[ ... ]
There is likely nothing I can do while I'm here, but I'll research it, as much as I can. Perhaps I'll know something your healers don't.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-07 01:37 pm (UTC)