...There are things about myself I'd like to know. Answers I'd like to have. But in between those, there are a lot of things that I'm not sure - maybe it's better for some things to stay lost.
What that man did, he and his nurses - I'm sure I've done things that are no less horrific.
[ that makes sense, he thinks - he's the type of masochistic asshole that would want to know everything he's done, but when she explains it... well, it wouldn't be useful for her. she doesn't need the worst of it. ]
... I'd find it hard to imagine you could do anything as terrible as that, even in the worst of it. [ but maybe that's wishful thinking, he doesn't know.
he adjusts his hold on her a little. ]
Regardless. It sounds like these are things you're no longer willing to do, Shadowheart, even if it would lead to favor.
[one thing to try to find a way to follow shar on her own, but to see, out in the world, the damage caused by shar's followers, to have to confront the damage done to her... she wants nothing to do with it.]
And if you don't mind me saying so, I think you're a better person than your god or the people that brought you in would have you believe. That sort of thing is hard to root out.
... That was a horrible place you found yourself in.
Mmm. I don't really know, but I'll take your say so for the lack of other options.
[said like a joke, but really, what else can she do? she has so little experience with her own self. the people here who have come to know her have just as much information to judge her on as she has to judge herself with, so. it's a comfort, a relief, to know that they see her that way, even if she still has to worry what else might be there.]
Which place? Though on second thought, I agree either way. [the background, or that horrible hospital.] I would say Thorne was particularly insane - he and his family members, other than the one lucky immortal, have all sort of turned into undead wraiths over the past century. Plenty of time to perfect madness.
Some things remain a constant, hm? Immortality is a curse. [ we are still so lost in the mirror maze but at least the glass is silent, for now. ] Why were you there? It strikes me that I actually don't know much about you other than your goddess - I'd like to know you past that.
Well, that's for a quite simple reason. I don't have many memories of my life, so there's little to say. Except for the most reason events, and I'm afraid there's rather a lot to say about that.
[like the whole plot of bg3]
I'm infected by a mind flayer parasite. You mainly have to know that by now, it should have killed me and transformed me into a monster, or at least turned me into some sort of thrall, but we've been lucky and have managed to stop that process from happening.
Nothing we've been up to is anything I was intending to do. We're just trying to survive and rid ourselves of this infection, but it's gotten us in the middle of the plans of people who are trying to use the parasites for their own purposes.
As far as I'm aware. We've spoken with several healers of varying types, and they've all either told us there's nothing they can do or attempted to kill us.
No, our hope is more... there is a group of people who have means to control the parasites, and they're using that for their own purposes, to make an army of thralls. But it's clear that they must have a means to control it, which would be extremely helpful. [so, kill them and either take it or destroy it.]
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2025-03-05 12:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-03-05 01:54 am (UTC)...There are things about myself I'd like to know. Answers I'd like to have. But in between those, there are a lot of things that I'm not sure - maybe it's better for some things to stay lost.
What that man did, he and his nurses - I'm sure I've done things that are no less horrific.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-05 02:10 am (UTC)... I'd find it hard to imagine you could do anything as terrible as that, even in the worst of it. [ but maybe that's wishful thinking, he doesn't know.
he adjusts his hold on her a little. ]
Regardless. It sounds like these are things you're no longer willing to do, Shadowheart, even if it would lead to favor.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-05 03:29 am (UTC)[one thing to try to find a way to follow shar on her own, but to see, out in the world, the damage caused by shar's followers, to have to confront the damage done to her... she wants nothing to do with it.]
no subject
Date: 2025-03-05 04:31 am (UTC)[ his tail swishes back and forth behind him. ]
And if you don't mind me saying so, I think you're a better person than your god or the people that brought you in would have you believe. That sort of thing is hard to root out.
... That was a horrible place you found yourself in.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-05 01:05 pm (UTC)[said like a joke, but really, what else can she do? she has so little experience with her own self. the people here who have come to know her have just as much information to judge her on as she has to judge herself with, so. it's a comfort, a relief, to know that they see her that way, even if she still has to worry what else might be there.]
Which place? Though on second thought, I agree either way. [the background, or that horrible hospital.] I would say Thorne was particularly insane - he and his family members, other than the one lucky immortal, have all sort of turned into undead wraiths over the past century. Plenty of time to perfect madness.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-05 09:59 pm (UTC)Some things remain a constant, hm? Immortality is a curse. [ we are still so lost in the mirror maze but at least the glass is silent, for now. ] Why were you there? It strikes me that I actually don't know much about you other than your goddess - I'd like to know you past that.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-05 11:56 pm (UTC)Well, that's for a quite simple reason. I don't have many memories of my life, so there's little to say. Except for the most reason events, and I'm afraid there's rather a lot to say about that.
[like the whole plot of bg3]
I'm infected by a mind flayer parasite. You mainly have to know that by now, it should have killed me and transformed me into a monster, or at least turned me into some sort of thrall, but we've been lucky and have managed to stop that process from happening.
Nothing we've been up to is anything I was intending to do. We're just trying to survive and rid ourselves of this infection, but it's gotten us in the middle of the plans of people who are trying to use the parasites for their own purposes.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-06 01:46 am (UTC)he looks - alarmed?? by this?? hello?? he looks at her like bwuh?? ]
A parasite. [ ... ] I suppose I'm happy to know you aren't a thrall. You - hah, you weren't kidding, were you.
[ there sure is a lot to say about that!! ]
no subject
Date: 2025-03-06 03:06 am (UTC)We really just need to find some specific people and kill them, so. In some ways, easier than many of our personal problems.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-06 07:46 pm (UTC)[ he laughs, just in that sort of what can you do way. ]
Easy as that, I suppose. [ a beat. ] Is there no cure for it? It cannot be medically extracted?
no subject
Date: 2025-03-06 11:30 pm (UTC)No, our hope is more... there is a group of people who have means to control the parasites, and they're using that for their own purposes, to make an army of thralls. But it's clear that they must have a means to control it, which would be extremely helpful. [so, kill them and either take it or destroy it.]
no subject
Date: 2025-03-07 04:26 am (UTC)[ ... ]
There is likely nothing I can do while I'm here, but I'll research it, as much as I can. Perhaps I'll know something your healers don't.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-07 01:37 pm (UTC)