He's generally fairly open-minded if not closed-world. But something about this seems to give him pause, his pace slowing and falling a little behind. ]
If you didn't want to, then you shouldn't have to?
[ GIRL YOUR STOCKHOLM GET OUTTA THERE JENNY we'll make a Selunite out of you yet. Anyway his general respect of her has suddenly turned into something kind of very concerned. Blink twice if you need help. ]
[so, she does have context for organized crime syndicates, and what they'll do to you if you don't obey.]
I didn't realize, though it makes some sense. You're so strong. [the scariest part is she's not, for once, saying that like she's objectifying him.] Then these activities were - maybe not officially sanctioned, by approved by the church?
I spent a long time pretending that I was her devoted servant, all while believing fully that I was already lost in her eyes, that I'd been thrown away.
I didn't want to admit it outloud to anyone. It would make it more permanent, and I was still clinging to hopes I could somehow undo what I believed I'd done.
[she blinks to herself, finding herself a little confused the longer this conversation goes on - not remembering even what she was professing to believe, or whether it felt right.
[ This tracks, his views are in shambles too. But it's also probably an effect of him not being good at getting things across very well with words. All he's thinking about is how coercion to do what you don't like or else is not great. ]
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He's generally fairly open-minded if not closed-world. But something about this seems to give him pause, his pace slowing and falling a little behind. ]
If you didn't want to, then you shouldn't have to?
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Lady Shar does not tolerate defiance. Perhaps there are gods that do, but half-hearted worship is not good enough for her.
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...Because you do what she tells you to.
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Because I passed her tests and proved my loyalty, yes.
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I've...
[ Not something he really generally wants to admit but. It was kind of topic-adjacent before this conversation took a worrying turn. ]
...I've also killed someone I did not wish to. But I do not think that is praise-worthy.
I... think of it. Often.
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...Who?
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Someone who left the Family.
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[do they have the mafia in baldur's gate i just dont know]
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[so, she does have context for organized crime syndicates, and what they'll do to you if you don't obey.]
I didn't realize, though it makes some sense. You're so strong. [the scariest part is she's not, for once, saying that like she's objectifying him.] Then these activities were - maybe not officially sanctioned, by approved by the church?
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I do not want to say officially sanctioned. More it is like, many members have connections.
[ Nepotism is real and can hurt you... and bribery is such an easy path for some. ]
It does make trying to escape a near impossibility.
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...I don't know.
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[she can't reassure him, but she does know.]
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[ Differences aside, she gets the whole religious aspect stuff. ]
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I spent a long time pretending that I was her devoted servant, all while believing fully that I was already lost in her eyes, that I'd been thrown away.
I didn't want to admit it outloud to anyone. It would make it more permanent, and I was still clinging to hopes I could somehow undo what I believed I'd done.
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[ That'd be blasphemous, he's pretty sure, to even try and claim the latter. ]
I don't know if that would make it better or worse.
...But Alll-mer did not make me kill, and I do resent the man who did.
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The man who did... how did he make you?
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He threatened my sister.
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