[this is one of those moments where it's hard to know if you should say something hurtful and true or something soothing. and she's really not sure what's right.]
You're hurting right now, because you lost someone. And I want you to consider that pain, and consider whether you truly want the friends you've made here to feel it over you.
[she has seen his memories, which is why she doubts he actually understands.]
Of course I don't. But we're here and forced to make choices. Even if Akihiko was forced to do something terrible... doesn't it matter if he has family somewhere and I don't? Doesn't it makes sense to make a different choice? Our lives are not equal.
Why not? It would have been an easy one. Why couldn't we choose it?
It makes sense. He looks at her and laughs a little. He doesn't think she's wrong for thinking that. Only because its funny she thinks they're the same.]
It does. Your life has value. I decided to devalue my life. I chose it. I'm not upset.
Yes. The consequences will fall on the ones who cared for you. You'll escape feeling pain, but they'll be left to suffer for it. Is that something you're alright with, then?
You feel sorry for Anders, when he feels pain over Hawke, but he'd feel that over you as well. I don't think you'd wish for that.
[she knows he hasn't considered it, she understands at this point that he's only selfish the way a little kid is selfish, when he hasn't thought through what he does might mean for anyone else.]
Many of the things you believe remind me of the things I was taught to believe.
That isn't entirely a bad thing. [not. being sad. the beliefs part.] You were taught a way to exist by people who only wanted to use you, who wanted to teach you only the things that would help them achieve their aims.
Trying to learn something new is painful, but it will be worth it. [she is still so new to all of this, still trying to convince herself of this fact, and she's lying. she doesn't know if it's worth it yet. she just hopes it will be.]
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[and she is really tired of standing, but...]
No one would begrudge you pain, but you must not threaten your own life like that.
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You're hurting right now, because you lost someone. And I want you to consider that pain, and consider whether you truly want the friends you've made here to feel it over you.
[she has seen his memories, which is why she doubts he actually understands.]
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[he wouldn't have saved akihiko, he would have just also died.]
But I don't have a family somewhere either [laughs in act 3 spoilers] and I still believe my life has value.
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It makes sense. He looks at her and laughs a little. He doesn't think she's wrong for thinking that. Only because its funny she thinks they're the same.]
It does. Your life has value. I decided to devalue my life. I chose it. I'm not upset.
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Ah. But I don't think you get to decide that. Other people dictate the value, not you.
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[Bro punch him.]
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Yes. The consequences will fall on the ones who cared for you. You'll escape feeling pain, but they'll be left to suffer for it. Is that something you're alright with, then?
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[He isn't deflecting. He means it. Caring about others... being cared about in return... its so new.]
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[she knows he hasn't considered it, she understands at this point that he's only selfish the way a little kid is selfish, when he hasn't thought through what he does might mean for anyone else.]
Many of the things you believe remind me of the things I was taught to believe.
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[He shifts, rubbing his his arm, tasting the acid in the back of his mouth.]
I don't know what I believe anymore.
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Trying to learn something new is painful, but it will be worth it. [she is still so new to all of this, still trying to convince herself of this fact, and she's lying. she doesn't know if it's worth it yet. she just hopes it will be.]
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It has to be worth it. Otherwise, what's the point of all this? If there's no place to take what I learn?
[Just pain? Is that really the reason he's here instead of free within the void?]
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It's not only pain, right? There are things that make you happy, I know that's true. [for example, comedy roasts.]
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[He does love a good roast... he leans into her hand. ]
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But it will come back.