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[there is nastiness in his gremlin heart but there's little that comes from a place of malice. It's mostly a deep selfishness to take what he wants no matter what because he's never been able to take before.
(Except for Mizu who insulted his evidence investigation. Screw them!!!)
Well it's nice to feel a positive feeling.]
Hmm. Then perhaps I am nosy. Is that alright? Or are you very good at pretending you don't want to know what others are feeling.
(Except for Mizu who insulted his evidence investigation. Screw them!!!)
Well it's nice to feel a positive feeling.]
Hmm. Then perhaps I am nosy. Is that alright? Or are you very good at pretending you don't want to know what others are feeling.
It’s alright.
[she was mainly just teasing him. he can feel her feelings, which are nowhere as reserved or derisive as the way she acts. she does just feel a little fond of him. he’s hilarious, but also very sweet, and she can relate a bit, to growing up being molded to be something that will accomplish some higher purpose you care nothing for.]
You’ll find many people are a bit unenthused about having their feelings so on display. It tends to be nice knowing it’s possible to hide them should the need arise.
[she was mainly just teasing him. he can feel her feelings, which are nowhere as reserved or derisive as the way she acts. she does just feel a little fond of him. he’s hilarious, but also very sweet, and she can relate a bit, to growing up being molded to be something that will accomplish some higher purpose you care nothing for.]
You’ll find many people are a bit unenthused about having their feelings so on display. It tends to be nice knowing it’s possible to hide them should the need arise.
[Well, he's unsure of what to think of being considered cute. He thought that was for girls and small animals but it pleases him all the same. There's a fondness for her as well but more than that, a feeling of trust. Which he hasn't felt for an adult before this place. He settles next to her.]
I don't understand it. Everyone goes through so much trouble to hide their feelings but for what? It seems like that only causes confusion and misunderstanding.
I don't understand it. Everyone goes through so much trouble to hide their feelings but for what? It seems like that only causes confusion and misunderstanding.
Edited 2025-03-12 14:05 (UTC)
[looking for him... where is he hanging out after trial. she's not that mobile so hopefully not far.]
[Nah, he's currently yarfing in some bushes outside the church.]
[okay. well. this isn't going in the rankings list of all time beautiful caretaker moments, but... waits for him to stop... ]
[She's valid.
He's going to just finish and stumble away, rather dazed. Like he doesn't really know why that happened.]
He's going to just finish and stumble away, rather dazed. Like he doesn't really know why that happened.]
[okay now she is approaching.]
Kaworu? If you're ill, you should probably sit down.
Kaworu? If you're ill, you should probably sit down.
[Waves her off as he tries to stand up straight and walk. But he's not really looking at her. Just past her. Or even through her.]
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
[Just... flings his arms out in a shrug! He doesn't know okay.]
You won't find any relief for your troubles some particular distance away.
[and she is really tired of standing, but...]
No one would begrudge you pain, but you must not threaten your own life like that.
[and she is really tired of standing, but...]
No one would begrudge you pain, but you must not threaten your own life like that.
Why? You saw my memories. You know it's true.
[this is one of those moments where it's hard to know if you should say something hurtful and true or something soothing. and she's really not sure what's right.]
You're hurting right now, because you lost someone. And I want you to consider that pain, and consider whether you truly want the friends you've made here to feel it over you.
[she has seen his memories, which is why she doubts he actually understands.]
You're hurting right now, because you lost someone. And I want you to consider that pain, and consider whether you truly want the friends you've made here to feel it over you.
[she has seen his memories, which is why she doubts he actually understands.]
Of course I don't. But we're here and forced to make choices. Even if Akihiko was forced to do something terrible... doesn't it matter if he has family somewhere and I don't? Doesn't it makes sense to make a different choice? Our lives are not equal.
That isn't a trade anyone was offering.
[he wouldn't have saved akihiko, he would have just also died.]
But I don't have a family somewhere either [laughs in act 3 spoilers] and I still believe my life has value.
[he wouldn't have saved akihiko, he would have just also died.]
But I don't have a family somewhere either [laughs in act 3 spoilers] and I still believe my life has value.
Why not? It would have been an easy one. Why couldn't we choose it?
It makes sense. He looks at her and laughs a little. He doesn't think she's wrong for thinking that. Only because its funny she thinks they're the same.]
It does. Your life has value. I decided to devalue my life. I chose it. I'm not upset.
It makes sense. He looks at her and laughs a little. He doesn't think she's wrong for thinking that. Only because its funny she thinks they're the same.]
It does. Your life has value. I decided to devalue my life. I chose it. I'm not upset.
[still rude to laugh!]
Ah. But I don't think you get to decide that. Other people dictate the value, not you.
Ah. But I don't think you get to decide that. Other people dictate the value, not you.
Well. That will be their mistake in the end.
[Bro punch him.]
[Bro punch him.]
[she won't.]
Yes. The consequences will fall on the ones who cared for you. You'll escape feeling pain, but they'll be left to suffer for it. Is that something you're alright with, then?
Yes. The consequences will fall on the ones who cared for you. You'll escape feeling pain, but they'll be left to suffer for it. Is that something you're alright with, then?
Edited 2025-03-16 04:48 (UTC)
I don't know. I've never had to think about it before.
[He isn't deflecting. He means it. Caring about others... being cared about in return... its so new.]
[He isn't deflecting. He means it. Caring about others... being cared about in return... its so new.]
You feel sorry for Anders, when he feels pain over Hawke, but he'd feel that over you as well. I don't think you'd wish for that.
[she knows he hasn't considered it, she understands at this point that he's only selfish the way a little kid is selfish, when he hasn't thought through what he does might mean for anyone else.]
Many of the things you believe remind me of the things I was taught to believe.
[she knows he hasn't considered it, she understands at this point that he's only selfish the way a little kid is selfish, when he hasn't thought through what he does might mean for anyone else.]
Many of the things you believe remind me of the things I was taught to believe.
No. I don't. But someone will also be sad over the person who is executed. I'll be sad.
[He shifts, rubbing his his arm, tasting the acid in the back of his mouth.]
I don't know what I believe anymore.
[He shifts, rubbing his his arm, tasting the acid in the back of his mouth.]
I don't know what I believe anymore.
That isn't entirely a bad thing. [not. being sad. the beliefs part.] You were taught a way to exist by people who only wanted to use you, who wanted to teach you only the things that would help them achieve their aims.
Trying to learn something new is painful, but it will be worth it. [she is still so new to all of this, still trying to convince herself of this fact, and she's lying. she doesn't know if it's worth it yet. she just hopes it will be.]
Trying to learn something new is painful, but it will be worth it. [she is still so new to all of this, still trying to convince herself of this fact, and she's lying. she doesn't know if it's worth it yet. she just hopes it will be.]
[He nods. She is right, that is exactly how he was raised and why they chose to raise him that way.]
It has to be worth it. Otherwise, what's the point of all this? If there's no place to take what I learn?
[Just pain? Is that really the reason he's here instead of free within the void?]
It has to be worth it. Otherwise, what's the point of all this? If there's no place to take what I learn?
[Just pain? Is that really the reason he's here instead of free within the void?]
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