pc: marcoh

[sacredpath]

Comments

[boxcar]

Just don't want to be rude about what people believe.

Was dyeing your hair a part of it too?

[ Lady of Darkness? ]

[sacredpath]

[It's a little embarrassing to admit, but...]

Yes. I wanted to do something to cement my decision to break from Shar. There was a Selûnite cleric who wore her hair like this, and I thought... if I no longer look like a Sharran, then I can no longer pretend to be one.

[boxcar]

It suits you.

[sacredpath]

Thank you, Marcoh. I would like to become suited to it.

[not that the old color was bad. but the bangs were.]

w7 monday

[boxcar]

[ Why are all the locations bad now. After deda return Marcoh is quietly somewhere in the Neighbourhood. He's trying to mind his own business, somewhat, keeping a polite sort of distance from folks. If they want to approach him, that's fine, but he doesn't seem to be actively hunting down anyone much.

Getting some water maybe... it's been a rough several days. ]

[sacredpath]

[yeah the neighborhood is the only place that isn't shit.]

...Marcoh. [nodding at him. it's a bit awkward.] Everyone is back. A relief to see them, yes?

[boxcar]

[ He nods back after a moment of hesitation, not totally sure how he should really approach anyone else. ]

It is.

[sacredpath]

How are you feeling about it?

[just trying to judge the mood. not that she thinks them being back is going to fix everything that happened but probably it helped a little.]

[boxcar]

Obviously it is good. Whatever they were trying over there, they made it work.

[ And there is relief. Always room for something to go wrong last second. Their local mg villain clearly isn't happy about how everything's been shaking out, and they've apparently got some tricks left up their sleeve still... like banishing the cats elsewhere. But there's still a blurred conflict of course. Lingering nastiness that he is trying to politely brush under the rug, but it's also not like he can just forget about it. ]

You?

[sacredpath]

Despite my certainty that this fight is not over yet, it is hard not to feel my spirits lift with everyone else back here.

[she agrees the entity isn't done and there's still a lot of danger, but... it's just really wonderful to see everyone again.]

[boxcar]

Hard to deny that.

[ Some mixed feelings aside, he obviously also thinks this is a plus overall. It's one thing to be told something good will happen, and another to actually see it happen. Letters aside, he did see each and every one of those as a corpse one way or another after all. ]

Who were you eager to meet the most? Elysia?

[sacredpath]

Elysia, Yves, Charlie, Claude...

[those are her faves who died. all were pretty painful, in their own way.]

[boxcar]

[ He nods in answer to that. He does share this list pretty well, except Claude, but he didn't dislike the guy. It's just that the other three hurt a lot more, especially in part because they were just victims. 'Yves also killed a girl' listen it was different. ]

They told us as much through letters, but it's a lot more reinforcing to actually see them being alright.

[sacredpath]

[she has no particular moral justification for liking or disliking anyone, these are just her favorites.]

And for there to be no last minute chance for that part of things to go wrong.

[boxcar]

[ No that's fair and a mood. ]

It's one hurdle leapt over.

[ And hopefully kept, like there isn't just one last sudden possession snappage and massacre for the road. The Entity's clearly pissed and screwing with all their locations and that's kind of wild. ]

[sacredpath]

I know I still find it hard to believe we will get out of this unscathed.

[a little pessimism, at least.]

We have to contend with the entity, and we have whatever judgment will entail.

[boxcar]

Do you have concerns about your Judgment Day?

[ There IS a small ebb of anxiety when he thinks about it, but considering he's an honest to god church goer who actually believes in that kind of stuff. ]

[sacredpath]

I do, but primarily because... the idea of arguing for what I deserve is something that sits uncomfortably with me.

[boxcar]

I think there is little other picture perfect example of a redemption, at the very least, the definite beginning of one than yours.

[sacredpath]

[this is sweet, but she feels a bit uneasy.]

I wanted to shake off my history with Lady Shar. I don't want to attribute anything to some other god. I did not try to redeem myself.

[boxcar]

You are shaking her off. Her stuff didn't sound good for you.

They told me it was something about change. [ Glances at her hair. ] You'll go back to live your life differently. Definitely feels like it to me.

[sacredpath]

[she laughs and self-consciously touches her hair.]

We'll see. I want to trust in it, but I also don't want to hastily pledge myself to some other god's code of conduct. [except apparently god is gabriel and they've talked about this in detail so it's probably fine.]

What of you? You told me some of what you believed before. [his feelings about murder...] Has that changed?

[boxcar]

Like am I still a believer in Alll-mer? It is hard to just... not.

[ It's not like he's a SUPER devout, it's just... you know, he's his world's equivalent of an actual typical Catholic. It's hard to just kind of shake it off. ]

[sacredpath]

No, I mean...

[frowning at how to put it.]

When we talked before, it seemed that you felt that the things you had done were particularly sinful. And I didn't necessarily see it that way. I have killed people before because I had to in order to survive and protect those dear to me, and even if I return home, that won't change.

[it was to keep his sister alive, so she would not have judged what he decided to do. but then seeing how he was overcome with rage, wanting to avenge uruha, it made her if not question that, at least understand why he thought that path wasn't right for him.]

[boxcar]

[ It's... well, it's a lot for even him to dissect. He's always known he's more prone to anger than he'd typically admit, but that sort of gut-deep rage -- it's only been wrenched out of him twice. It's hard to try to justify himself in front of anyone like that, outside of the simplest nature of it: he snapped because he felt cornered past a breaking point, relating to somebody he loves but failed to protect.

At the time, he didn't feel bad for it. Refused to, even, because how could you, how dare you? But without the rage to turn it outwards into an all-consuming flame, all he has is an uncertain guilt. ]

Killing someone who doesn't deserve it is. And, even now, I still don't believe in hurting others.

But I know that might be hard to believe with how I acted.

[ It's hard for him to believe he's a good person when he has that kind of capacity to do harm. ]