We Sharrans are not typically good at recruiting, except amongst people who are already broken down by life. There is not much comfort to be found in the belief that there is no way to prevent pain, and everything will be lost. I see why people like Lathander better, that is to say.
[nice to think you can expect something kinder from the universe than this, if only you work for it.]
But I did like the idea. I see what you mean when you say it, the way you exercise it. I think you're more right about the value of what you try to do than you may know.
[at least, she'd like to think it's sift through the muck of all of it and find something to hold on to, and need no one else's blessing to deserve it. and he is kind, and helps people, which makes it seem real.]
[almost a little teasing with it. not quite, just - she did understand that the emotion here was sorrow at losing someone he cared for.]
And how unfair it is. Though the benefit here, perhaps, is that we are not left to simply curse the senselessness and meaningless of the universe. This wasn't randomness, this was something else, and it hurt her on purpose.
She doesn't think she's done anything wrong. She finds this unjust. And it is, really. [ a beat. ] I'm sorry I could not bring myself to help accuse her, even when I knew it was her.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2025-03-02 04:13 am (UTC)[ ... ]
I'm scraping from the bottom of an already very empty cauldron, I'm afraid.
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Date: 2025-03-02 04:34 am (UTC)[that sort of thing feels like a fairy story.]
Is it harder than you let on, to find meaning in it?
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Date: 2025-03-02 04:39 am (UTC)Of course it is. [ ... ] It's there. There's always something.
Still. It does feel as though sometimes, when I reach for something comforting, it's snatched away.
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Date: 2025-03-02 05:09 am (UTC)We Sharrans are not typically good at recruiting, except amongst people who are already broken down by life. There is not much comfort to be found in the belief that there is no way to prevent pain, and everything will be lost. I see why people like Lathander better, that is to say.
[nice to think you can expect something kinder from the universe than this, if only you work for it.]
But I did like the idea. I see what you mean when you say it, the way you exercise it. I think you're more right about the value of what you try to do than you may know.
[at least, she'd like to think it's sift through the muck of all of it and find something to hold on to, and need no one else's blessing to deserve it. and he is kind, and helps people, which makes it seem real.]
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Date: 2025-03-02 05:47 am (UTC)I can only hope that I am.
[ ... ]
I was starting to get used to having her by my side. Neverah, I mean.
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Date: 2025-03-02 02:47 pm (UTC)[almost a little teasing with it. not quite, just - she did understand that the emotion here was sorrow at losing someone he cared for.]
And how unfair it is. Though the benefit here, perhaps, is that we are not left to simply curse the senselessness and meaningless of the universe. This wasn't randomness, this was something else, and it hurt her on purpose.
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Date: 2025-03-02 04:09 pm (UTC)[ ... ]
She doesn't think she's done anything wrong. She finds this unjust. And it is, really. [ a beat. ] I'm sorry I could not bring myself to help accuse her, even when I knew it was her.
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Date: 2025-03-02 05:32 pm (UTC)[it would be a lot to expect.]
Caring about someone and wanting to protect them is not something to be sorry for.
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Date: 2025-03-02 08:43 pm (UTC)[ he says, finally. and he glances at her. and then, like he's really trying to be a person by joking: ]
Some of you more than others.
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Date: 2025-03-02 09:25 pm (UTC)[he can't really pretend he isn't hurt particularly by some people.]
But some of us are awful, so it makes sense.
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Date: 2025-03-02 10:50 pm (UTC)[ genuinely. ]
Thank you, Shadowheart. For checking on me.
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Date: 2025-03-03 04:04 am (UTC)