pc: richie

[sacredpath]

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[sacredpath]

[oh. she feels foolish now, but she can't turn it back off.]

It was cruel, but... [swallowing.] I am. Even if I could change that just by trying, I think it's too late. I don't see how anyone can really ever trust my judgment. [she's been molded too much into this form that's too eager to please, too uncertain of her own impulses, too slow to notice when things aren't right.]

[gutterbound]

Shadowheart.

[No no no. He shakes his head. Once again misses having two arms, he can't do more than keep the hold he's already got to press his points in.]

You can't buy any of the shit that place was selling. It's not real, no matter how many holes it put into you. Other people attacked their friends out on their own trips, too. They're made to mess with you. Live out your nightmares and make you doubt yourself.

[But even more than that:]

It's not too late. As long as you're still kicking, you've got time.

[sacredpath]

I know. I know it happened that way for others, too.

[and she was quick to assure them it wasn't their fault. anyway i always find hugging geometry in threads so confusing i guess they just have been hugging this whole conversation but now they are hugging even more? she presses her face into his shoulder.]

I don't mean to be so emotional. I didn't - this wasn't - [she didn't want to talk to him so he could comfort her about it, that just feels bad right now. even in that place, that version of him felt so sorry for and guilty about her even as she killed him.] I want to protect you from that thing. I don't want it to hurt you again.

[even if none of that actually really happened in any meaningful way, she hates that she was part of this, that she was used by this thing to torture him.]

[gutterbound]

[Physical mechanics my arch nemesis. I'd been picturing that they pulled back a little to talk face to face but yes hug intensifies. There's a pang in his chest and he lets his hand shift, cradling the back of her head.]

Come on now, you got every right to be. [Chiding herself after being dragged through hell. He'd be bawling. Had come near to it himself, in a few of these post-trip chats. Her assertions come cold and hot to him, sparking fond warmth and sorrow. An equal need to protect. An equal helplessness. Couldn't do shit for her when it counted, now could he?

He'd like to assure her it won't. He just doesn't think now is the time for white lie and dubious promises. Instead he settles for a truth.]

Ditto. [Richie lets his head fall against hers, eyes closing.] We could make a deal instead, huh? You help me, I help you.

I don't want to see you hurt again either. By anything.

[sacredpath]

[warmth reflected right back at him. it's better that he doesn't try to assure her that it will be fine, but that doesn't mean it won't be. at least it's out in the open now. one of these days she'll have to mention to him in return the plot of baldur's gate 3, something that isn't a secret exactly but something she tries to avoid mentioning. but she doesn't exactly want to talk about that right now. the future is not a guarantee for her either, but that doesn't mean he should be living in fear of it on his own.]

A nice thought, though hurts tend to come despite our best efforts. [she says this and her hand tenses, but only for a second, relaxing again after a moment of concentration.] But the right company can make them easier to endure. I'll accept your bargain.

[gutterbound]

[It's not better. Of course it can't be. But he's glad to catch a whiff of something positive on her end. Anything outside that sink of despair must be a good sign. Richie smiles, laughing under his breath.]

You got a deal. [Hurts will come, inevitably. Even beyond whatever waits for them here. But in the meantime, it wouldn't be so bad, weathering them out with her.] Want to spit and shake on it?

[sacredpath]

[wrinkling her nose.]

Sorry? Spit how.

[gutterbound]

Spit and shake. [obviously.] You hock one into your palms and shake hands. A binding promise on any playground.

[emotions of being a shitheel]

[sacredpath]

I'm not going to be doing that?

[as though explaining something very obvious.]

[gutterbound]

[He laughs.]

Suit yourself! We'll just have to take our words for it.

[sacredpath]

Your word is good enough for me, truly.

[gutterbound]

Glad to hear it.

[And, though they're tangled up tight and nothing he can say or do will change how much she hurts, Richie still pulls back to press a kiss to her temple. Soft, short and sweet.]

Rest easy, Shady Lady. We'll see it all through.