[ hmmm. he'll pause in their walking then, taking both of shadowheart's hands in his as he looks at her ]
... I know that it can be hard to see through it in your grief. Your reasonable frustration and anger. I think you should feel all those things, because you still can, and that's another way of showing how much you loved Ellie.
[ things that yves wishes that he could still feel. ]
But I do believe there's still something better. One person shouldn't have the ability to steal your hope like that. He doesn't deserve the chance.
Then he doesn't get to be what tips you over the edge. Ellie wouldn't want that either. Her heart would break if she knew that she was part of what made you lose faith, even if she'd be so touched by how much you cared about her.
[ a gentle squeeze of her hands ]
I promise the world is better than whatever we're forced to endure on Saturdays.
[she's a bit embarrassed at this, but that's sort of the problem. it's hard to not feel embarrassed, to take these feelings seriously. how elysia and yves always sound so sincere saying these things is beyond her.]
Well, fine. I hardly want to break anyone's heart.
[ well yves's brain is broken from trauma and elysia is a bajillion years old so maybe the sincerity finds you that way—but regardless, he does really mean every word.
his expression softens with the agreement, even if he understands that trying to move forward from here is a tightrope walk. it is so hard to hope. ]
[ that makes him laugh then, a little bit of a lighter noise ]
If I could be anything like Ellie, then that's the greatest compliment I've ever received.
[ and he does seem to mean that too ]
The only thing I can say for certain is that she and I both definitely love you, and want to see to your happiness. If there's anything I want you to believe in, it's that.
[both of them showed her such kindness and somehow forced her to believe in it instead of rejecting it.
it's still not easy. there's a lot to her that even she doesn't know. and she knows it would mean something to him, if she could express herself back as easily, but she isn't used to this, she's a sharp instrument, and he feels so fragile that she's afraid to try.]
I wish for your happiness, too. I only wish I knew how to help you with your hurts as easily as you help me. I know you may not feel them, but that doesn't mean they aren't there.
[is he just running around reopening the emotional wounds, too, without noticing?]
to say that he's surprised is an understatement, and his eyes widen. ]
... is that what you think...?
[ and he'll give her hands a squeeze, gentle, mindful that his own are still bandaged and he doesn't want to bleed grossly on her ]
Shadowheart... I've remembered everything you've said to me. Every kind word and every push. I think I'm finally getting an idea of what everyone was saying to me, that I shouldn't be so quick to be apathetic to being gone...
But if I'm making any progress, you have to know that you played a large part in it. I know... I can be hard to comfort. [ as someone who processes his own emotional pain quietly or apart from others ] Even still, you've always been there for me.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-09 04:32 am (UTC)... I know that it can be hard to see through it in your grief. Your reasonable frustration and anger. I think you should feel all those things, because you still can, and that's another way of showing how much you loved Ellie.
[ things that yves wishes that he could still feel. ]
But I do believe there's still something better. One person shouldn't have the ability to steal your hope like that. He doesn't deserve the chance.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-09 04:51 am (UTC)I don't know if it's quite one person stealing it.
[she simply didn't have much to begin with.]
But I would feel rather pitiful, if I were to give up entirely.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-09 04:55 am (UTC)[ a gentle squeeze of her hands ]
I promise the world is better than whatever we're forced to endure on Saturdays.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-09 01:37 pm (UTC)Well, fine. I hardly want to break anyone's heart.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-09 04:45 pm (UTC)his expression softens with the agreement, even if he understands that trying to move forward from here is a tightrope walk. it is so hard to hope. ]
... thanks. [ softly ] Please keep trying. I will, too.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-10 12:56 am (UTC)[she knows he means it sincerely. squeezing his hand back.]
I know that you will. [...] You're very like her, you know. I find it easy to believe in you, too.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-10 02:08 am (UTC)If I could be anything like Ellie, then that's the greatest compliment I've ever received.
[ and he does seem to mean that too ]
The only thing I can say for certain is that she and I both definitely love you, and want to see to your happiness. If there's anything I want you to believe in, it's that.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-10 12:41 pm (UTC)[both of them showed her such kindness and somehow forced her to believe in it instead of rejecting it.
it's still not easy. there's a lot to her that even she doesn't know. and she knows it would mean something to him, if she could express herself back as easily, but she isn't used to this, she's a sharp instrument, and he feels so fragile that she's afraid to try.]
I wish for your happiness, too. I only wish I knew how to help you with your hurts as easily as you help me. I know you may not feel them, but that doesn't mean they aren't there.
[is he just running around reopening the emotional wounds, too, without noticing?]
no subject
Date: 2025-03-11 02:22 am (UTC)to say that he's surprised is an understatement, and his eyes widen. ]
... is that what you think...?
[ and he'll give her hands a squeeze, gentle, mindful that his own are still bandaged and he doesn't want to bleed grossly on her ]
Shadowheart... I've remembered everything you've said to me. Every kind word and every push. I think I'm finally getting an idea of what everyone was saying to me, that I shouldn't be so quick to be apathetic to being gone...
But if I'm making any progress, you have to know that you played a large part in it. I know... I can be hard to comfort. [ as someone who processes his own emotional pain quietly or apart from others ] Even still, you've always been there for me.
I'm really grateful for... well, you.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-11 12:31 pm (UTC)You express things so straightforwardly, and that's never been something I'm good at.
[so she really did just assume all of her efforts to return his kindness were not adding up to much.]
That makes me very happy.
no subject
Date: 2025-03-12 12:50 am (UTC)Well, you make me happy, so I think that we're about even. If you ever have doubts again, just let me know so I can dispel them right away.