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I believe you.
[it's not hard for her to believe that at all, that's consistent with the marcoh she knows. there was just this other marcoh who was not only dead set on killing but so dead set on it that he seemed ready to turn on any of them violently for trying to interfere.]
Our guiding beliefs and principals aren't the same as what we do when backed into a corner. Nor should they, or else we would have nothing to aspire to.
Still, as much as I understand what you had to do for your sister, I think... the Marcoh I came to know is a gentle person, even if there have been times when it has not been possible to be one.
[it's not hard for her to believe that at all, that's consistent with the marcoh she knows. there was just this other marcoh who was not only dead set on killing but so dead set on it that he seemed ready to turn on any of them violently for trying to interfere.]
Our guiding beliefs and principals aren't the same as what we do when backed into a corner. Nor should they, or else we would have nothing to aspire to.
Still, as much as I understand what you had to do for your sister, I think... the Marcoh I came to know is a gentle person, even if there have been times when it has not been possible to be one.
[ Desire, capacity, and ability aren't always linear. But it's at least a little settling to hear Shadowheart say as much. He can't leap on it for validation but it's a kinder gesture than holding it against him. In the end, he really does think this heaven turned out to be full of kindness. ]
I don't know if that necessarily means I've changed. [ For the sake of redemption and stuff. He still feels mostly the same, very generally speaking... kind of worse if he were honest but that's experiencing trauma for you. ] But if it gets asked, I'll still do what it takes to get it.
I don't know if that necessarily means I've changed. [ For the sake of redemption and stuff. He still feels mostly the same, very generally speaking... kind of worse if he were honest but that's experiencing trauma for you. ] But if it gets asked, I'll still do what it takes to get it.
As far as I understand, the entire purpose of this project was to allow us to see who we could become removed from the circumstances we were trapped in. I know I've done a great many terrible things, but it did not take much time around people other than Sharrans for that to start to change.
The only problem is that the experiences we had here didn't take us away from those circumstances.
The only problem is that the experiences we had here didn't take us away from those circumstances.
[ He nods... there is mild floating dread here. He did go off the rails spectacularly. Maybe the lesson is if he can bounce back from that surrounded by an actual support system but he's not going to just write excuses for himself. He'll see what comes Judgment Day, try not to be nervous and all. ]
... Thanks for talking to me, Shadowheart.
... Thanks for talking to me, Shadowheart.
[our beach is back! our beautiful beach. she has showered and changed out of whatever hideous outfit i forced her to be in and is instead wearing something simple and comfortable and sitting out on the beach.]
Mm. I did spend a lot of time out here. I want to remember it.
[there's a lot about all of this she will feel nostalgic for, even if it was basically hell, too.]
[there's a lot about all of this she will feel nostalgic for, even if it was basically hell, too.]
I've also got a lot of memories here.
[ Both sweet and bittersweet. There's little imaginationshare projections, of sitting with Siffrin to look at stars; of Uruha dragging him off to play some shamisen at the soundstage; the first week they learned that murders happen, when he spent the entire day combing the beach up and down for Charlie's body.
It all feels like both yesterday and a long time ago. ]
[ Both sweet and bittersweet. There's little imaginationshare projections, of sitting with Siffrin to look at stars; of Uruha dragging him off to play some shamisen at the soundstage; the first week they learned that murders happen, when he spent the entire day combing the beach up and down for Charlie's body.
It all feels like both yesterday and a long time ago. ]
[that little montage makes her feel so much. shifting over to press her head against him.]
I don't know if it's forever, but I'll miss you.
I don't know if it's forever, but I'll miss you.
As would I. At least tell me when you and your sister have made it safely.
Ah. For me, too. A few battles to fight, first. Hopefully not much longer from that.
I think so. You never really know, but... I've lasted long enough that the next fight never frightens me much. At least it means knowing what is next.
My stance on fights?
[a bit amused.]
I sort of wander in there and start hitting people indiscriminately with a morningstar.
[a bit amused.]
I sort of wander in there and start hitting people indiscriminately with a morningstar.
I know, I know. I only mean...
[well, what does she mean. he paid her a compliment and she got flustered and made fun.]
[well, what does she mean. he paid her a compliment and she got flustered and made fun.]
Well... I'm realizing how little this comes up casually in conversation, but I'm infected by a mindflayer parasite.
[she did this on the mingle earlier this week but it was like 10 gagtags in to viktor so like two people noticed.]
It's fine.
[is it...]
The parasites typically take over your brain and turn you into a monster or a thrall within a matter of days, but that hasn't happened yet and it won't. But I do sort of have to go back if I expect to be protected from it.
It's fine.
[is it...]
The parasites typically take over your brain and turn you into a monster or a thrall within a matter of days, but that hasn't happened yet and it won't. But I do sort of have to go back if I expect to be protected from it.
I am about as sure it is fine as I am sure Lady Shar will not strike me down the moment I reenter her domain. Which is to say, not entirely sure, but if it isn't fine, there's little I can do about it.
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