[she's told him so many other things that it doesn't really bother her to just explain this piece of it.]
The Gauntlet of Shar. A series of trials, and at the end, a sacrifice. Traditionally a Selûnite warrior, though in recent years some have claimed any Selûnite will do.
[it was trapped, and dangerous, but somehow she doubts that was the whole thing.]
The person she wanted me to sacrifice was an aasimar. Do you know what that is? They're a little like angels - children of gods, partially immortal.
[flashes back to our first thread with the human sacrifice joke like I SEE]
...I've never heard the term, but I get the gist. [Fucking hell. At least he has a better idea of what to expect now. So many people here confess to atrocities that he's more surprised when their hands are clean.]
[this week makes it so impossible to know. but...]
I think not. At least, I think that's the difference. When I killed her, something happened to me. [the feeling of doubts going away, along with a lot more.] But I think that isn't something that happened at all.
[A possible split in the crossroads, then. Likely, but without her real memories back in full it's dangerous to put full stock in it. She could have just as easily killed the thing and felt such deep regret she split. What does he know?]
You said the reason you lost your memories was a spell. Was it something the Sharrans would do? Say as a punishment? Or was it someone else?
It's something we do, yes, but I cannot tell you precisely how or why. That's sort of the point of taking my memories.
I was told I gave them up, and I'd have them returned to me when my mission was complete, but I don't know that. Anders mentioned a similar situation he was aware of, and the memory loss was more about control, preventing rebellion. And I think that explanation makes sense, too. [more sense, probably.]
[But at least they got a culprit. She never mentioned who before, and with good reason.]
It does sound like a dirty tactic, and one that leaves you precious few options. My own was...uh. [He bites his lip a moment. Weighs his words. What's wise to say and what he knows. Which is still, maddeningly, so very little.] I suppose that was more of a shut down. A refusal to look back at something ugly, just for the sake of moving on. Not the same situation at all, really.
If people like Anders have heard of similar things, maybe someone knows a way around it here. If there's ever a point where people get their mojo back, outside of an expulsion...could be something to consider.
I can't say I blame you. Some things are best left where you buried them. Lest they become your ball and chain, dragging around behind you the rest of your life.
[Or there's things it ruins you to know. That change the way you see the world for good.]
...I do wonder, if there is such a thing as returning home after whatever the fuck this is supposed to be: would we even remember it? And if we did, would it really be a help?
Personally speaking, I think returning to a place where magic and mysticism never belonged with the recollection that it's real is going to drive me completely bugshit.
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The Gauntlet of Shar. A series of trials, and at the end, a sacrifice. Traditionally a Selûnite warrior, though in recent years some have claimed any Selûnite will do.
[it was trapped, and dangerous, but somehow she doubts that was the whole thing.]
The person she wanted me to sacrifice was an aasimar. Do you know what that is? They're a little like angels - children of gods, partially immortal.
no subject
...I've never heard the term, but I get the gist. [Fucking hell. At least he has a better idea of what to expect now. So many people here confess to atrocities that he's more surprised when their hands are clean.]
Did you go through with it?
no subject
[this week makes it so impossible to know. but...]
I think not. At least, I think that's the difference. When I killed her, something happened to me. [the feeling of doubts going away, along with a lot more.] But I think that isn't something that happened at all.
no subject
[A possible split in the crossroads, then. Likely, but without her real memories back in full it's dangerous to put full stock in it. She could have just as easily killed the thing and felt such deep regret she split. What does he know?]
You said the reason you lost your memories was a spell. Was it something the Sharrans would do? Say as a punishment? Or was it someone else?
no subject
I was told I gave them up, and I'd have them returned to me when my mission was complete, but I don't know that. Anders mentioned a similar situation he was aware of, and the memory loss was more about control, preventing rebellion. And I think that explanation makes sense, too. [more sense, probably.]
no subject
[But at least they got a culprit. She never mentioned who before, and with good reason.]
It does sound like a dirty tactic, and one that leaves you precious few options. My own was...uh. [He bites his lip a moment. Weighs his words. What's wise to say and what he knows. Which is still, maddeningly, so very little.] I suppose that was more of a shut down. A refusal to look back at something ugly, just for the sake of moving on. Not the same situation at all, really.
If people like Anders have heard of similar things, maybe someone knows a way around it here. If there's ever a point where people get their mojo back, outside of an expulsion...could be something to consider.
no subject
It's not an entirely different situation. I would like to know some things, but I don't think I want to remember everything.
[there are parts for her that are like that too. things that would make it hard, if you really remembered them, to move on.]
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[Or there's things it ruins you to know. That change the way you see the world for good.]
...I do wonder, if there is such a thing as returning home after whatever the fuck this is supposed to be: would we even remember it? And if we did, would it really be a help?
Personally speaking, I think returning to a place where magic and mysticism never belonged with the recollection that it's real is going to drive me completely bugshit.
no subject
[but that's a good point. frowning.]
I would hope I remember, but... the things that happen to you that you don't remember still matter. I think we both probably know that.