[ the self-awareness is a double-edged sword. people are so kind here, to the point that it makes him want to believe it's true. that maybe if he was normal, he still would've been loved. but... it's so easy to doubt. even when he doesn't want to. if he still felt things like hatred and contempt, and turned that against people who harmed him, would he still be worth loving? isn't it safer to exist here, as an oddity of a person, knowing that this is how he receives the care he wanted so badly? ]
... thank you. [ it means something that she'd say so, even if just to comfort him. he'll reach out for her hand again, just to hold. then, just to try to lighten the mood: ] I have been told I get a bit pouty sometimes, you know.
[ but even that's only playful—only enough to be charming or endearing ]
But... I don't know if I can change anymore. Sometimes I want to, sometimes I don't. I just thought...
After all you've shared with me, and how much care you've shown me... I wanted you to know.
You're not at the top of the list of anyone I'd consider morose.
[the hand is okay. she'll smile, letting him lighten the mood, but she feels sad for him.]
Thank you for telling me. [she tries to think of what to say. she'd like to reassure him, but the question is whether he can ever even really believe the kindness he's shown in return, when he knows how much he had to change himself this much to receive it.]
Changing is hard. And you don't have to try. But if you did choose to try, you would not lose my friendship.
[ it's reassuring to hear as is, even though it can be hard to believe. yves looks thoughtful about it, and ultimately he knows he can't give an answer right now.
what he can say with all sincerity is: ]
Thanks. Really. I really do treasure you, you know.
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... thank you. [ it means something that she'd say so, even if just to comfort him. he'll reach out for her hand again, just to hold. then, just to try to lighten the mood: ] I have been told I get a bit pouty sometimes, you know.
[ but even that's only playful—only enough to be charming or endearing ]
But... I don't know if I can change anymore. Sometimes I want to, sometimes I don't. I just thought...
After all you've shared with me, and how much care you've shown me... I wanted you to know.
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[the hand is okay. she'll smile, letting him lighten the mood, but she feels sad for him.]
Thank you for telling me. [she tries to think of what to say. she'd like to reassure him, but the question is whether he can ever even really believe the kindness he's shown in return, when he knows how much he had to change himself this much to receive it.]
Changing is hard. And you don't have to try. But if you did choose to try, you would not lose my friendship.
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what he can say with all sincerity is: ]
Thanks. Really. I really do treasure you, you know.
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[honestly. whether he was playing some role or not, he really did help her want to try and change.]