Shadowheart

[she does sort of already understand some of these things about him. that's why it hurt so much, to watch him offer his life to a man who took a person he loved from him. to be able to do that, with a smile, could simply mean being especially gracious and forgiving, but to her, it felt more that he'd tortured himself into a shape where his own feelings weren't allowed to matter.

she mainly just didn't realize that he knew he'd done that to himself.]

Well, I don't think what you're describing sounds like a good thing to do to yourself, but I don't think you're twisted.

[a bit hesitant, she doesn't want him to feel rejected by her, but she would be lying if she claimed she liked this.]

I think you're wonderful. But I'd still think so if you were a bit more angry or selfish or petty sometimes.

[though maybe it's hard to say that and know how true it is. of course it meant something to her, that he's always been willing to listen to her, always shown care towards her so easily, always saw a better side of her than she knew was there. she started to rely on his kindness, but if that kindness is only something he's forcing himself to show out of a desperate loneliness, how can she say she knows she would have felt the same way about a less open, less caring version of the same person.

the answer is probably only that you can't overthink these things. it isn't as though she didn't know there was something fragile and messy about who he is.]